Getting into the Christmas spirit...

I was going to post this yesterday, but I was absolutely wrecked. Truthfully, most people in the office were, which is kinda sad when you know that the reason for this widespread fatigue is the office Christmas party that lasted until (gasp!) 8:30. I know. We'll have to figure out something different for next year. Maybe start at 4.

Anyway, I mention the party because I had a starring role in it as the Innkeeper!


Wait, what?! No, no, no. Silly me. Wrong photo.




Ain't we pretty? (In case you're wondering, it's a very modern interpretation of the Innkeeper.)

And you're probably wondering about that whole Santa Clause thing up there. To be honest, I'm still not sure how it happened. All I know is that it either solidifies my candidacy for President, or it knocks me completely out of the running. I'll just have to run at a time when Santa is in vogue. But then there's the whole Christian thing. That could be problematic. Oh well.

I was having a rough day all around yesterday. I had to apologize a couple different times for the thoughts running around in my head. It got so bad, I nearly apologized to the entire nation of France. Fortunately, I recovered before it got that far. (See, still having this problem...)

I think everyone in the office is going a little stir-crazy. We know the end is near. We can see it. We can just detect that first whiff of fresh air and freedom. As soon as I start tasting it, I'm headed for the door, regardless of what is left on my desk.

I shouldn't make it sound so bad. Things have slowed down quite a bit for me. Instead of 9,000 letters like last week, I'm down to 4,750. I'm also done sending out Christmas cards. I think. Every time I think I'm done, I think of new people to send them to. It would be funny if the people I had forgotten to send them to weren't my family.

I get stuck in a bit of a destructive pattern at this time of year. What am I destroying, you ask? My bank account. I like buying gifts for people. I like buying gifts for myself. There are a ton of sales right now. All of these things combine to be very bad for my fiscal future. Not to mention, Christmas is coming up, and the fear of duplicates should keep me from parting with hard-earned greenbacks.

I can't stop talking like this. It's like my stream-of-consciousness Christmas letter all over again. Nothing of substance passes from my fingertips. I may actually start telling deep, dark secrets if I don't end this no-