Sometimes...

I'm going to tell you a secret. 

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I don't feel very missionary-y. Sometimes I don't even feel very Christian. 

Sometimes, I'm really annoyed with people. Sometimes, I want to slap people across the face and ask them how they can be so dense. Sometimes, I don't want to give people a chance to hear about Jesus because they have been so utterly stupid and hurtful and deliberately in contradiction with Truth. 

Sometimes, the people I'm annoyed with are fellow Christians. Sometimes they seem so completely disconnected from reality. Sometimes I wonder how we could possibly be serving the same God. 

Sometimes, I'm annoyed with myself. Sometimes I get so annoyed that, for every step forward, I sometimes take two steps backward in my faith. Sometimes I feel so angry with myself because I know how sad I'm making God.

Today is all those times.

Whaddaya know? I'm human.

(I'm reminded of Galatians 6:9. I'm not giving up! I'm just hanging on by fingertips.)