Fear Not

It has been pointed out to me by well-meaning individuals that I have a tendency to a) mention something once and never bring it up again, or b) say a lot about something without actually saying anything about it.

Unfortunately for the aforementioned people, this is going to be another one of those posts.

There are exactly two things that freak me out. I'm not talking about jump-a-foot-in-the-air-because-someone-popped-out-at-you scary. I'm talking heart-in-your-throat-can't-breathe-because-of-the-panic scary.

There's not a lot I can do when faced with either of those things, but I found (rediscovered) a passage today that may help with one of them. And because I am so nice, I'm going to share it with you. (The verse, not the thing that freaks me out. Sorry.)


Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man, clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest. The hairs of his head were white, like white wool, like snow. His eyes were like a flame of fire, his feet were like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and his voice was like the roar of many waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength.

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, "Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades."

Revelation 1:12-18

Dios te bendiga

Thank you to everyone who helped me celebrate my birthday, sent me cards and encouraging words, and just generally makes life more interesting and enjoyable! Thus far, 25 feels a lot like 24, but I am looking forward to a year of growth and challenges. I know I'm not always the most effusive person, but I am truly grateful for each and every one of you. May God bless you on your journey and wherever your path may lead you.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I've thought for awhile about what this post would look like. There's a lot running around in my head right now. My natural inclination would be to follow the general thoughts of everyone else in the world around this time of year. I've been thinking a lot about what this new year means, and the changes I would like to make in my life. Some things are incredibly superficial. For example, I always change my signature sometime around my birthday. Nothing drastic, but it keeps things fresh. Some changes, however, are a little more drastic.

It is those changes that are making my brain hurt. They are good changes, things I should have done years ago in some cases. But change is disruptive. It breaks up old routines. It forces us to do things we've never done before. It can take us to unexpected places.

You could make an argument that all of the things I just listed can actually be good. But hey - I'm not exactly a glass-half-full kind of girl. I tend to see any kind of change as ThatWhichMustBeAvoided. Routine makes me happy. New things make me nervous. I hate surprises.

But there is a saying that I have taken to heart recently: If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got.

I'm tired of sameness.

I'm tired of being terrified to take the next step. You might think it is odd that I would be writing about this when I've already taken a huge step and made a gigantic change by moving to Greenwood and becoming a missionary. But as far as my everyday life goes, not a lot has changed. Frankly, that's kind of sad.

Does this mean I will not protest the new Facebook profiles? No. They look ridiculous.

But it does mean that I will be looking for opportunities to switch things up a bit. (No doubt complaining the entire time, but if you think that's going to change, you are dreaming.)

What has inspired this new train of thought? Two things. A) My birthday. I will be turning 25 on January 16. That's one quarter of a century that I've been on this planet. What do I have to show for my 25 years? A snark factor that is off the charts, and a cynical streak a mile wide. I'd like to think I can contribute slightly more than that in the future.

B) My father's retirement. My father is a great man who has given more than 40 years to ministry and will doubtless continue in a number of capacities to contribute to the spiritual growth of those around him. With him as an example, how can I not strive for more?

Speaking of... the retirement party was lovely.


There were quite a few laughs (in our family, how could there not be?), but we had a generally awesome time. Not in the least because of the very excellent video I made about my father's life. Humility? Pfft... I put a lot of freaking work into that thing.


Anyway, this man is essentially starting a new career at the ripe old age of XX. (Sorry for the edit. Suffice to say, he's not a spring chicken anymore.)

EDIT: Three things. I forgot this one briefly, but am adding it now. I've been reading Sarah Young's devotional book "Jesus Calling." As soon as I read the entry for January 1, I knew I had to share it. Imagine Jesus saying these words to you:

"Come to me with a teachable spirit, eager to be changed. A close walk with me is a life of continual newness. Do not cling to old ways as you step into a new year. Instead, seek My Face with an open mind, knowing that your journey with Me involves being transformed by the renewing of your mind. As you focus your thoughts on Me, be aware that I am fully attentive to you. I see you with a steady eye, because My attention span is infinite. I know and understand you completely; My thoughts embrace you in everlasting Love. I also know the plans I have for you: plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Give yourself fully to this adventure of increasing attentiveness to My Presence."

Yeah. Try ignoring THAT.

What does all this mean? Well, I'm not really sure. I know, I know, I'm not the first person to talk about change without contextualizing. I have some very definite ideas in my head, and I'm working on incorporating them into reality. That's about as detailed as it is going to get.

One final note:


Beka and I are holding copies of the very first Outreach magazine to which we contributed. Our magazines are open to our respective articles. (Don't worry. It isn't actually backwards when you open it.) If you would like to receive a copy of Outreach, you have a couple of options. Go to the website (link -----> or below) and download it, subscribe (by going to the website (------->) or contact me and I'll send you a copy.

One final final note: Because of you beautiful people, my blog is in the top twenty sites for sending people to the One Mission Society website. Keep it up!

EDIT: Oh yeah! I forgot that I added a new feature to my blog. I've called it "Formative Books on my Journey Through Life (Besides the Bible)". Essentially, it is a list of books that have been instrumental in shaping my mental state. Read those books, and you will understand me so. much. better.