There's nothing I love more than redoing a job.

Hah.

Actually, I don't redo a lot of my own jobs. But I may redo other people's jobs.

Because I may be a little OCD.

This is news to you, I'm sure.

Anyway, that's why Train & Multiply is a good fit for me. We check, and recheck, and check again.

Makes my heart happy.

All the single ladies! (All the single ladies!)

Let's talk about single missionaries.

There are a lot of us. 13% of the missionaries serving with the Southern Baptist Mission Board are single. 21% serving with Pioneers are single. I have no idea what the statistics are for OMS, but I'd imagine the numbers are similar or even slightly higher. Four of the 12ish in my department are single.

And 85% of single missionaries are women.

Here are some headlines a quick Google search on this topic will bring you:

Two thirds of active missionaries are married couples. Another third are single women. The rest are single men.

Matchmaker for Missionaries Tackles a Top Reason They Quit

All the Single Ladies

"Should I, as a single person, go overseas now, or should I first find a mate?"

Should I give up my missionary work to try to find a husband?

Yeah, it's a big deal. A lot of people are talking about it. (I laughed at the third one. I was confused about the second and what it modified.)

But are they talking about the right thing? There is this pervasive idea that all single, female missionaries are just biding their time until they hit 40 or find a husband. 

It's disgusting. 

In many ways, whether purposely or not, single missionaries are treated as second class citizens by the marrieds. This is especially true if you're a single female. 

To be fair, I don't think they realize they are doing it most of the time. But there is still that old-school mentality that women are fragile, and without men to guide them, they are lost. Thus, many decisions are made for us without first inquiring as to what we would prefer.

Overall, OMS has been decent about single missionaries. Many of the marrieds are very gracious to us and invite us to join their families for holidays and activities. Lori McFall is kinda like a second mom, only more like an older sister, and I feel like an honorary McFall. 

But for as awesome as Lori's family is, I'm still not really a McFall. There are times I feel like I'm intruding, mostly because that's my personality. (Lori, I think you already know most of this, so I feel safe using you as an example.)

I know other couples who have taken in single missionaries like this. But instead of treating them as equals, the single missionaries almost become like another child. And some missionaries might not mind this. But many of us already have one set of parents, and what we need are friends, not minders.

It's worse for single missionaries not serving in the States. In many places, they might be the only missionary in the area. True, most agencies try to avoid this if possible, but it doesn't always work out. And even if you get paired up with another single gal, there is no guarantee that you'll be compatible roommates. Let's face it, some people just don't have much in common. Even here on campus, where there are an abundance of single missionaries, there are only 1-2 that I hang out with regularly. For one reason or another, I just don't connect with the others. I mentioned in previous posts that certain people had moved. Beka, Emily, and Elida were my single friends that I did pretty much everything with. We have similar interests, similar personalities, and so we hung out. And then, as happens, Beka moved to the Philippines, Emily moved to California, and Elida moved to Haiti, all to serve in their respective ministries. That added to an already devastating year. 

And that happens more often with single missionaries. They are the ones asked to move because it's easier than asking marrieds with kids to uproot everything. I understand why this happens. There are valid reasons for it. But it takes a toll. 

Furthermore, singles have to be much more careful about how they interact with people in the field. At OMS, we have a rule that single missionaries are not allowed to date for the first two years of their assignment. I don't know how strictly it is enforced, but it does exist. So if you want to do something, you need to find a large group or some marrieds with free time. Because they have so much of it. We have to be careful about how we interact with our national coworkers, how we interact with our married coworkers. 

Again, there are valid reasons for this. I have a friend who uses this as her excuse for turning down marriage proposals from nationals. (Not sure what she'll do after the two years are up.) And appearances are important, especially when you're trying to be the light of Jesus. But it still takes a toll.

And at the end of the day, who do singles talk to? It's a bit better in this technological age. We can Skype, email, and social media to our heart's content. But there is no substitute for having a physical person who can listen to you vent and give you a hug. Marrieds have a built-in pressure valve. Singles have to be careful about who they tell things to. 

And all too often, it's the single missionaries who are left to fend for themselves. We have a singles dinner every month at OMS. It's not subsidized by the mission or promoted. A couple of single gals got together and decided the single folks needed an outlet. It's nice. But my first time there, someone tried to set me up with the only single male missionary on campus. It's coming from all sides!

I'm not throwing shade at married missionaries. They have problems of their own that we don't have to deal with. But they aren't better than us because they have a spouse. I usually point to 1 Corinthians 7 when I get into the 'why aren't you married' discussion. Particularly verses 8 and 9. "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Nothing shuts them up faster than realizing they were the weak ones for being unable to control themselves.

I guess my purpose in writing this is to get people to realize that SINGLE MISSIONARIES EXIST. We have opinions. We have a calling. We have needs. Don't make policies that exclude a significant portion of your staff!

I think that's everything. You'll know if it's not.

State of the Company

Once a month, the staff at OMS HQ gathers to hear what other departments have been doing and be informed of the health of the organization. I suppose it could be likened to a State of the Union address, except much shorter and without the breaks for obligatory applause.

We had one this morning, and I'm pleased to report that the state of our union is relatively healthy. Deficits are down, particularly in homeland support accounts. This is always a huge concern for our staff, as many of us are underfunded. Many missionaries are at or below the poverty line. But December donations always help.

There was an Islamic Symposium last week, exploring the possibility of intentional evangelism among Muslim populations. We already do that to some extent, but much of it is on the periphery of the Muslim world. Muslims comprise 23% of the world's population, so of course we'd connect somewhere. But the vast majority of Muslims have no contact with the Gospel. Can we do a better job of reaching them? Of course we can.

ECC shared their four Wildly Important Goals for 2015-2016, one of which is near and dear to my heart. We hope to have the production process documented and learned entirely by year's end, so that we can translate 6 new languages and re-translate 8 languages by the end of 2016. It will fall largely on my shoulders to learn the process from Veronica, our partner in London, who is the only person in the world who knows the entire process right now. That is a scary thought. Your prayers, donations, and support are vital in helping us achieve this goal.

The development folks are hard at work finding foundations and donors to assist in funding major projects. There was a dedication in Haiti of one such project, the new radio towers. These towers help Radio 4VEH reach all of Haiti with the Gospel, health advice, and weather notifications.

36 people went through the application process last year to serve in various capacities. They are now funding and training for their new roles. If you received the last issue of Outreach, you saw that we have 134 personnel openings around the world of OMS. Think of how much we could do if each role was filled!

But it's not just work that we talk about. We also talk about personal accountability. Satan likes to attack us any way he can, and often, he attacks through what we see. Covenant Eyes is a new software we're considering to help members be accountable in their internet habits. It is an unfortunate reality with which we must contend. But it makes me feel better knowing OMS cares about our personal walk.

Most of what we talk about, though, is just company stuff. Probably the same sort of stuff your company talks about. Because missionaries are people, too. 

What a difference 6 years makes!

It can be quite intriguing to go back through old Facebook posts and notes to see what, if anything, has changed. I found the below list from January 2009, back when this type of thing was common on FB. I'm going to respond to some of these items now, six years later. The challenge was to write down 25 little-known things about me. My responses are below each item.


1. My list of 100 Things To Do Before I Die only has 76 things on it.
I can't honestly say I've looked at this list since 2009. So I took a quick glance at it. The # is actually 71. I crossed some new things off! But I don't really understand lists like this. I mean, yeah, there are some things I'd like to accomplish, but not much I really feel compelled to do just because everyone else has done it or says it's amazing. And how do I know what things I might want to do in the future? I might hear about something totally awesome, and if I limited myself to 100, there'd be no room for that on the list! (Just kidding, I'd totally change the name. Also, when I wrote the list, I distinctly remember putting things I had already done on it so that I could cross things off immediately and feel accomplished.)


2. My elvish name is Nessa Almateriel.
This is still true. But I also know how to write my own name in Elvish runes now.



3. My hobbit name is Ruby Toadfoot.
Also still true. Though I think the website I used to figure that out is no longer available.


4. Of the twenty-one necklaces I own, I have worn nineteen in public.
Oh, baby, I own so many more than 21 now. And a few still haven't been worn in public. (I did not take the time to count how many I own now. I'd say a rough estimate is about 50. But there's a wide margin of error.)


5. Neither Buck House, nor the White House, are anything to write home about.
Technically still true, though I've not seen them in some time. The White House just seems very dated. Buck House, which is Buckingham Palace, would probably be very charming if I actually got to see inside. As it was, I only saw the facade.


6. I am afraid of the dark.
Still sort of true. I don't like being in total darkness, but it doesn't freak me out like it used to. What bothers me most is the stillness. If I'm with someone, it's fine, but as soon as I'm on my own in the dark, I have issues. I usually build myself a cocoon and burrow down at night.


7. I have never seriously dated anyone for longer than three months.
A lot depends on how you define 'dated.' I had a long-distance relationship that could have become something and didn't (thank God), I had a stalker (well, two stalkers, actually) that I'm glad didn't become something, but the basic facts are that I have yet to be in a relationship that I would consider 'serious.'


8. I once wrote a Star Wars Extended Universe novel. It was never published.
J.J. Abrams, eat your heart out. It was a rough novel, and it wouldn't fit in the extended universe now, but at the time, I was quite proud of it. Still am, really.


9. I trust too easily.
I forget sometimes that people are evil. It's kind of a weird thing to forget, and most of the time, I really don't trust people (which isn't really a good thing either), but sometimes, I'll surprise myself.


10. The wierdest thing I have ever eaten was a worm when I was five.
I think there were some snails, too. (Give me a break! How to Eat Fried Worms was a very persuasive book.)


11. The one country I want to see more than any other is Vietnam.
Still probably true.


12. The one city I want to see more than any other is Istanbul.
Definitely true.


13. I have never finished an anti-malarial medication after leaving a country.
I have been very fortunate, as this is still true.


14. I would be very happy as a hermitess.
For a while.


15. The picture of me in my head is not the one I see when I look in the mirror.
Still very much true. I actually have a more positive image of myself in my head.


16. My hands shake when I sing in public.
I don't sing in public much anymore. I do miss it, but Babs had stage fright for 27 years, so I feel justified.


17. My favorite Power Rangers series was Lost Galaxy.
That Red Ranger!


18. I have a huge crush on Corran Horn.
He's still in my top five fictional characters. (For those of you wondering, Corran Horn is a character in the Star Wars extended universe. I was a bit of a rabid fan at one time.)


19. I hate roller coasters.
That's putting it mildly.


20. Confederate flags should not be flown over public buildings.Still true. Though my views on the Confederacy have mellowed somewhat, I still maintain that the flag (in whatever form) was a symbol of rebellion, and therefore should not be allowed to fly over government-affiliated buildings.


21. I'm afraid of eternity.
The thing most likely to send me into a panic attack. Not because I don't know where I'll be, but because it never ends. I need to stop thinking about this. (Breathe.)


22. There are 4,129 songs in my iTunes.
7,356 by my last count. So I've added 3,227 in six years. More than 500 each year. I don't know if this is impressive or disturbing. I like music, so this makes me happy.


23. I do not believe life will truly start until I am thin.
Aaaand welcome to the place it gets real. Frankly, I'm surprised I admitted this way back when. I don't talk a lot about my weight in a public forum. I'm well aware that I'm overweight. I'm aware I should probably lose weight. It's healthier. But part of the problem is #15 up there. In my head, I'm not fat. I realize it when I look in a mirror or fly on a plane or travel, but I've yet to find the motivation to do anything about it. And part of me doesn't want to, because if it's true, if life starts when I get thin, then how do I know it's real? I'm mostly talking about men, here. If I meet someone when I'm fat, I know he'll stick with me through whatever. But if I get thin and meet someone, then how do I know he'll still be around when I plump out again? But do I even want a man in the first place?

This is how my brain works.


24. I believe I will never be thin.
I don't think I'll ever get below a size 10. I 'ave beeg bonez! But again, the motivation is not there as of yet.


25. I believe life will never start.
Goodness, I was depressed back then. Seriously, I was mostly talking about the whole marriage and kids bit. Which obviously hasn't started yet. But life has started. It started 29 years ago. Obviously. I'm in it. So I need to start acting like it.

Because today, I celebrate my 29th year on this planet. 

Twelve Days In...

I don't care what anyone tells you, things are not getting better.

We are twelve days into 2015. Not even two weeks. And what have we wrought?

January 1 - Mourning begins after 36 people are killed in a stampede in China. A shooting in Canada kills one, injures 6. A suicide bomb in Yemen kills 49, injures 70.

January 2 - Boko Haram kills 11 in Cameroon.

January 3 - 3 cargo ships sink or run aground, killing more than 20.

January 4 - 40 killed in Pakistan strikes, UN peacekeepers hit roadside bomb in Mali, a bombing in Yemen, a suicide bomb in Somalia, and a building collapse in Kenya.

January 5 - Libyan bombing of a Greek freighter, two suicide bombs in the Middle East, another building collapses in Kenya, and an avalanche kills two.

January 6 - 23 Iraqis killed fighting ISIL, a suicide bomber in Istanbul, 12 killed in Ukraine bus crash, two trains collide in Brazil, and 21 confirmed deaths so far from influenza in the States.

January 7 - The Charlie Hebdo shooting in Paris and a car bomb kills 38 in Yemen.

January 8 - Boko Haram massacres an entire town in Nigeria, killing more than 2000. A suicide bomber kills 7 in Iraq.

January 9 - A hostage situation at a market in Paris kills 5.

January 10 - A suicide bomb in Pakistan. A suicide bomb in Nigeria. A suicide bomb in Lebanon. 30 dead. An oil tanker collides with a passenger coach, killing 57 in Pakistan. A shooting in Idaho.

January 11 - Two 10-year-olds forced to bomb markets in Nigeria.

January 12 - 69 dead after drinking crocodile poison in Mozambique. And it's only 12:55.



Have good things happened this year? Sure. A lot of them. But there have also been a whole lot more bad things than what I listed. Those stories made it to the international scene (unless you live in the U.S., in which case you probably didn't hear about half of them). My local news has been jam-packed with shootings, accidents, and other crime reports since just after midnight on January 1.

I don't want to send the wrong message here. If you're depressed by this list, you really should be. It's horrifying. And January 13 is likely not going to be the magical day that everyone lays down their arms and declares love for their fellow man. They won't do that until they experience the love of a Savior. And that is what gives us hope. There is a cure for the disease of sin.

There's a lot of work to be done. 

The 2015 Challenge

Here's the goal for 2015, at least with regard to this blog: I will post new content at least once a week, always on Monday if possible. So now you know when to check it. I'll still post when the mood strikes, but I will always have something mission-related up on Mondays. Sound good?

Good.

There's always an emphasis at the beginning of each year on trying new things or making a change. And that's admirable, but all too often, this impulse fails to carry through much past January. I've been guilty of it myself many times. I've heard that it takes 2-3 weeks of consistent action to make something a habit. And let's face it, many of us are not wired for trying new things. We're banking on the social contract that we have with our future self to balance out, even though that's really not how it works. (Either we suffer now, or we suffer later. It will happen.)

So this year, I'm going to try new things. I'm not going to put a number on it, like I have to try six new things a month. But when the opportunity arises, instead of staying home and doing the usual thing, I'm going to make a concerted effort to say yes.

Appropos of nothing, I turn 30 in a year. And we all know life ends at 30.