The Utz Factor, Christmas Edition, Part 1

'The Winter's End' by ??????

Obviously, there are about a million utzy songs at Christmas. Christmas oozes with utz. That's the whole point. But over the years, I've found a few Christmas-ish jingles that fall outside the norm but still warm the cockles of one's heart. Which is just weird.

Wouldn't you know, this first song would be a doozy to find a reference for. I'm only 85% certain it's actually called 'The Winter's End,' and I don't remember where I found it. I just know it's pretty and perfect for a snowy afternoon with tree lights twinkling softly.

Listen Music Files - Share Audio - 04 The Winter's End

The Utz Factor, Thanksgiving Edition

'Bonaparte's Retreat/Hoedown' by Jay Ungar and Molly Mason

YouTube doesn't have the exact version I wanted. So we're trying this. Hopefully it works. In honor of Thanksgiving, we're visiting my love of fiddles. This song is just happiness. You can't listen to it and not tap your foot.

Happy Thanksgiving!

http://www.divshare.com/download/24633441-53a

The Utz Factor, Part 7

'Some Nights' by fun.

I realize the majority of my utzy songs are slow and instrumental. This song is not. But I love it just as much as the rest. And not just because the music video is about the Civil War. This song has all the things I love most - strong male vocals, interesting harmonies, great lyrics and a driving beat. This song can get me amped up no matter what mood I'm in. And they actually manage to use auto-tune in a non-annoying manner!

Job asks the tough questions

Like many, I started a Bible reading plan on YouVersion. And like many, I've fallen woefully behind.

So tonight, as I lay in bed unable to sleep, I figured I might as well try to catch up.

I'm on Job 17. First line: "My spirit is broken; my days are extinct; the graveyard is ready for me."

I'm tired of feeling like this. But I don't know how to get out of the rut.

There's probably a reason I got bogged down in Job. I find it a both inspiring and depressing book.

Messy Love and Peace

A lot of things this week have worked to remind me that my life really isn't that bad. I spend way too much time in my head. Not enough time serving others. 

When I became a missionary, I asked God to give me a love for others. I didn't have that before. It's messy to love other people. It hurts. And I've slowly learned how to do it. 

But I don't do it often enough. 

So I have a new challenge. I'll be praying the following prayer (from Francis of Assisi) every day. 

And if there is a way I can love and serve you, please ask. (Because I don't pick up on social cues very well.)

The Peace Prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, the truth;
Where there is doubt, the faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

The Utz Factor, Part 6

'Ljosio' by Olafur Arnalds

I heard this song by way of a fanfiction I was reading. See, I also write stories, and when I write, I use the utzy playlist to find inspiration for certain scenes. This song is for the scene just before the end - remember the past, understanding what it has taught us, and beginning to look toward the future. It's such a light tune, but the counter-melody weighs it down just enough. Also, I'm pretty sure the composer is Icelandic. How cool is that? (Get it?)

The Utz Factor, Part 5

'Still' - Black Hawk Down soundtrack

To this day, I'm not sure if I can explain why I like this movie so much. I can't actually watch it too often. I have a few movies like that. You love them, but it hurts too much to watch them sometimes. Movies like Saving Private Ryan, The Passion of the Christ and Glory. But I think I like this movie because it's one of the most realistic portrayals (in my opinion, and I realize that's not worth much considering I've never been in combat and am not a soldier) of a war zone. Once the shooting starts, everything happens in real time, and you're never quite sure what is going on. This song reminds me that sometimes, there are calm moments in a storm.

(The video cuts off about 7 seconds, not sure why.)

I don't know how to write about my life right now.

I've certainly been talking about it enough. I'm amazed my dad still picks up the phone when he sees me calling. I think Lori only listens now because I'm her Doctor Who supplier. I feel like I'm bringing down the spirits of everyone I talk to.

So I try to be positive. I try to think of things to say.

Except I don't really have a life outside of work. And I don't want to talk about work.

I feel isolated.

Greenwood was supposed to be my gateway to the rest of the world. And for a while, it was. I went places. I did things. With people, even.

And then people started leaving. And because I'm socially awkward and can't approach people unless they've approached me first, I found myself traveling in a never-ending circuit between work, my apartment, Target, and church.

It's stifling.

So I escape. I travel with a squire in fairytale England; a pilot in a galaxy far, far away; a team of serial killer hunters - I go to any world that isn't this one.

Except I can't stay there forever.

And I look at other people, and they are doing things. They have lives. They have purpose.

I don't know what my purpose is. I'm trying to find out.

And now I'm complaining again.

Why would you read this?