A Year in the Can

I don't really want to reflect back on this year. It happened, I hated most of it, move on.

But as with every year, there were parts I didn't hate. Parts I actually really liked, in fact. I don't keep a regular diary, but I do jot down a few highlights from each day. This has been extremely helpful, because I can look back on things and get an idea of my mindset at the time. It also helps me see just how much work I've been able to accomplish and remember happier times. 

This year, of course, has run the gamut. Much of my joy comes from going places and hanging out with people, both things of which I experienced little. But I was able to find new things that gave me joy and kept my mind fairly intact. As Iago said in "Aladdin," you'd be surprised what you can live through. 

There's one photo that really sums up a large part of my year. 

That's about 3/4 of the medication I was prescribed this year and then either couldn't tolerate or didn't work as intended. It represents hundreds of dollars, days of dizziness and nausea, and weeks of frustration. I really didn't realize just how horrible I'd been feeling this year until I looked back over my calendar - I have a shorthand for health (which says a lot in itself), and just about every week had at least 2 days that indicated that it was a bad day. And that's all before I started developing hardcore anxiety. Which necessitated even more med trials. 

Last year, on New Year's Eve, I was at my friend Lori's house. I felt awful. Very dizzy, very spaced out, nauseous, and just plain miserable. I feel 100x better this year than I did then. For that, I'm thankful. 

In 2019, I wrote down on thing every day that made me grateful. I think for 2021, since my theme is joy, I'm going to write down one thing every day (or week, whatever works) that brought me joy. I'm counting on you guys to hold me accountable for that. And I'm going to explore the definitions of joy a bit more. It's a feeling like no other. 

I pray that 2021 brings all of us bountiful blessings, great joy, and an abundance of common sense. 

Happy New Year!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: December 14-18, 2020

'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the office, the mice were disappearing one by one. Seriously, though, everyone is using up all of their leftover vacation time. How they can tell what was vacation and what was WFH, I don't know. I haven't decided what I'm going to do next week or the week after. I'll probably be in the office for at least part of it. There's always plenty to do. 

This week was mostly about getting cards out. I finished the last one today. I'm really glad to have that done. I always forget just how long it takes to write out 100 Christmas cards. 

I also finished a couple more groups of Castilian. Because I'm awesome like that. 

I feel like I should be saying something profound to wrap up the year. But let's be honest, it's been a terrible year. I'd really rather just forget it existed. I don't have that luxury, of course, but it would be nice. Honestly, though, this year has been make or break for a lot of people. I feel a little cracked, but I don't think I'm totally broken yet. I even managed to learn a few things. Maybe not the things I wanted to learn, but probably some things I needed to learn. 

Here's to 2021 being just as amazing as 2020 was awful.

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Year!

Bye.

The Weekly Wrap-Up: December 7-11, 2020

Okay, so I didn't quite get to this on Friday. It was a long week, and I was feeling a bit stressed, so I didn't take the time to really list everything. But I'm back at it, so that's something.

I worked on two groups of Castilian last week. I'm really hoping to get it done before the end of the year, but there's so much going on each day. My primary project last week was working on getting my end-of-the-year letter written and cards sent out. I'm still writing the cards. They go to a lot of people, so it's no wonder that it takes some time, especially when I'm hand-writing all of them. I try to be a little more personable than my normal letters, which are definitely heartfelt, but it's not personalized. I want to acknowledge the support that people have given me, especially in a year when we really haven't been able to connect in person. 

Everyone else was in planning and budgeting meetings. I was very happy to not be included in those. I think it went fairly well, but obviously, we did a lot of planning for this year and look how that turned out. I think they were a little more loose with things, ready for whatever changes come next. 

Lori and I did some more work in the warehouse, mainly getting things organized into groups. We're still not totally sure what we'll do with the rest of the books, so if you have any ideas, let me know. 

Other than that, it's pretty standard around here. This is definitely going to be a weird Christmas. But I hope you find fulfillment and joy in the gift of Jesus Christ.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: November 30 - December 4, 2020

I hope you all had a safe and happy Thanksgiving! Mine was small but fun, and I still have leftovers, so what's not to like?

This week, I was back to it. Lots of emails to reply to, lots of the usual meetings that are super fun and definitely couldn't be summed up in an email. I managed to finish two more groups of Castilian, I've got a head start on my Christmas cards (though not on the letter), and I seem to be finally adjusting to my meds. All good things.

On Friday, we had our ECC Retreat. Because of restrictions this year, we did it all on Zoom (of course), but it was actually really nice. Jeff and Laura Edwards led us in a time of spiritual formation, talking about the value of solitude and clearing a space for what is truly important. It's given me a lot to think about. Of course, we had our gift exchange, which is weird to do online because most of us had to send gifts through the mail and hope they arrived in time. But we had a great time.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: November 16-20, 2020

I'm not ignoring Wednesday's post. It's still true, still affecting things. But it's not running my life. So, on with the regularly scheduled program.

Tuesday was the last day of Zoom bootcamp. It was a little rocky, but I think we ended up okay. We now have to figure out what changes to make for January's training. We'll have lots of meetings between now and then to plan, so that's something to look forward to. 

The rest of the week, I've been working on Castilian books. I've finished a couple of groups, but there's plenty more to do. Lori and I also did some more work in the warehouse, inviting OMSers to take some of the random stuff for which we couldn't find a place. It was mostly books, and a few did find new homes (yes, a few are now in my home). But there's still a lot of stuff we have to take care of. 

But that's for after Thanksgiving. I'm taking next week off so I can have a nice break. I hope you are all able to do something similar and have a lovely feast and a time of gratitude for all that God has given us.

Bye!

My Brain Is Trying to Kill Me

Okay. Let's do this.

So, I've kinda hinted around this, sometimes openly stated things, but I wanted to be really open about what I'm dealing with right now. 

In addition to the ongoing other health concerns, I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. 

What is that, you ask.

Well, it's really in the name. But let's focus on the 'generalized' portion because that's what makes it unique to each individual and also what makes it so annoying.

Google will tell you a lot about this topic. It's characterized by persistent and excessive worry or fear. It's caused by a combination of environmental and biological factors. It can manifest in a hundred different ways. And because it's general, there's nothing specific to cure or work on. 

What does it look like for me? I'm pretty much always on edge. I feel constant tension in every muscle. I get restless, I'm tired all the time, and at times, I can find it difficult to breathe. My heart starts racing. I can be very claustrophobic. I don't like driving because I feel like I'm stuck in my car. I have to constantly be doing something to keep my brain active and distracted. Sometimes it's not enough. And it feels like it's never going to end.

So, questions. Lord knows, I've had many, and I'm sure you do as well. I'm happy to answer yours when I can, but hopefully, the following will cover the bases.

1. What caused it?

Great question. I would love to be able to lay all the blame on the pandemic. But if I'm honest, which I try to be, this has been brewing since before the pandemic. Did the pandemic exacerbate it? Absolutely. It has made my world very small. But there have also been financial stressors, political upheaval, social unrest... Take your pick. There are also genetic factors. Depression runs in my family. My personality is such that my brain has always worked against me. I overthink things. So if you're looking for a specific cause that can be removed and cure me, you (and I) are out of luck.

2. What are you doing about it?

I'm working with my doctors to find the right medication. I have therapy appointments. I talk to my family. I pray a lot. I'm hoping being more open about this will help as well. There's a stigma around mental health. I've had to fight against my own instincts to keep it hidden. But it doesn't help to not talk about it. Keeping quiet just makes my world that much smaller, and that's not good for someone with claustrophobia. I'm not okay. And that's okay. I'm learning how to take things sometimes an hour at a time. 

3. Are you still able to work?

I do what I can. Some days are better than others. I concentrate on getting as much done on those days as I can. Other days are less productive. My bosses have been pretty understanding of my situation. I take sick time when I need it. But I mostly use weekends to recharge for the week.

4. You're a Christian. Shouldn't you trust God to take this away? Why would God make you experience this? Shouldn't you be stronger?

Oi. Hit me where it hurts why don't you? Seriously, though, I ask myself these questions. Especially that last one. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling weak. I feel like I should be better at handling this. I should be stronger. I should have more faith. How can I be a missionary who teaches people about Jesus and yet be struggling so much to even breathe sometimes?

I can't answer these questions. I can say that my faith in God is the only thing keeping me going every day. It's the only thing giving me purpose and meaning. I cling to 2 Timothy 1:7 - for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. It gives me hope that this will end. I'm being open about this because I know other people will be experiencing similar things, and I want you to know that you're not alone. There is hope. 

Like I said, I know you'll have questions. Please feel free to ask them. I'll answer as best I can. I'm still working this out. I'm not particularly enjoying it. But I want to totally honest about life right now. And life is rough.

The Weekly Wrap-Up: November 9-13, 2020

 

That's it. That's my week. 

Oh, fine. I'll explain. 

This was the week we started the Zoom Online Training Bootcamp. So it feels like I've been on Zoom more this week than I've been off it. But the training is going pretty well, I think. My team is that group of 3 with me up there. José is a CMF to Mexico, Phil is a pastor in Pennsylvania, and Nancy is a CMF with her husband to Ukraine. We're all great friends, so it's nice to work with them. 

The bottom photo is the facilitation team. We all keep switching roles throughout the training, so we have to be paying close attention. And Ashley, Sarah, and I are acting as consultants, so we each have a team of people (see above) who are giving presentations throughout to show what they've learned. 

I did manage to get some T&M done this week with Castilian. If I think about it, I'll post some photos of the training manual next week as we still have another day of bootcamp on Tuesday. 

For now, I'm tired. That's a theme, I guess. The end of the year always heats up, and despite the obvious, this year is really no exception. 

Sleep while you can.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: November 2-6, 2020

Hey, beautiful people!

I'll apologize right now if this is a little random and incoherent. I'm extremely tired today, for reasons I'll expand upon later. But first...

I'm working on Castilian this week. It's a pretty smooth language, but it's become something I do in my spare time this week. We're full speed ahead on the bootcamp, which means long Zoom meetings and lots of time reading through the training manual. I was, however, able to finish one group of Castilian, and I'm into a second, so it's not all bad.

One of my big tasks this week was putting together the gift exchange and sending assignments to everyone. We have 17 people participating this year, so I had to make sure everyone had the correct person with all of the correct information from the survey. I'm still coming up with ways to make our Secret Angle Virtual Astonishing Gift Exchange (let me know when you get it) more exciting since we're doing it on Zoom, but I have until December 4, so we'll see. 

If you're wondering how I make sure the assignments are random (or even if I randomize it at all), I'm going to let you in on my method. I came across it years ago, and it's served me well since then. First, write your participants' names on note cards.

It's important that you write the names twice. Once because they will be giving a gift, and once because they will be receiving a gift.

Shuffle the cards.

Cut the cards in half.

Did I need to use the cutting machine to do that? No. But it made me feel powerful. 

Keep both halves in the same order. Put one half of the card in a row on a table, face down.

Put the other half of the card in a row below that, upside down, and offset by one or two cards. Still upside down.

At the end of the row, loop back to the start to finish.

Now, you flip both cards. The name on the top card gives a gift to the name on the bottom card. Et voila!

It's not a foolproof system. I do have to go through and make sure no spouses are giving gifts to each other. It could be fun, but they already have to buy a present for their significant other. And we have three husband/wife combos in our team this year! Also, I try to make sure that if someone has given a gift to another person in the last two years, they get a new person this year. 

So you may have to do a little card swapping. But beware! You want to avoid a closed loop. For example, if Joe is giving a gift to Sue, then Sue would give the next gift and so on. You have to make sure that this line continues through all 17 people. It's very stressful. Thankfully, I had Lori's help on overthinking possibly problematic giving scenarios. 

Anyway, it's all done now, assignments have been made, emails sent, and it's out of my hands until December 4. Any ideas?

Now for the reason I'm so tired. I've mentioned before that we do work days at OMS - outdoor or indoor tasks to get the building and grounds spic-and-span. Our spring work day was cancelled, and our original fall work day was postponed, then postponed again for rain. Finally, we were able to get it done yesterday.

I signed up for the warehouse organization. Yes, OMS has a warehouse. Theoretically, it's there to store missionary belongings while they are on the field. Possibly also donations and just whatever stuff OMS feels the need to keep around for long periods of time. 

In reality, it has become a catch-all for all kinds of junk that people didn't know what else to do with. I've been aware of that for some time, so when I saw the warehouse was an option, I jumped on it. And I kind of took over. 

Oops.

I was adamant from the beginning that when we were done, we'd have everything gone that didn't need to be there and everything else in ship-shape and Bristol fashion. Did that mean that some hard decision had to be made about what needed to be thrown away? Yes. Was I prepared to make those decisions? Also yes. I wasn't alone, of course. I had many fantastic people helping out, which is good, because the first area we tackled was the loft. 

The only way into the loft is via a ladder, and I don't do ladders and I don't do heights. So I relied on these fine folks to get things organized and throw down some 75 empty boxes that had been gathering mold. 

Yeah.

They did a fantastic job. If we knew who stuff belonged to, we let them know that it was accessible any time they wanted to remove it (hint hint). If we didn't know, we either donated it or binned it. Then, we established what absolutely had to stay and made sure it all had a nice, neat corner in which it belonged. And then I made up a floor plan so that no one would get confused about what belonged where. 

No, I didn't actually operate the fork lift. That would have been terrifying for everyone.

I wish we'd taken more before photos. But I was so focused on getting rid of all that junk that I didn't really think about it. But please believe me when I say that those walls back there haven't seen the light of day in YEARS. 

Anyway, I have much pain in my body, and my lungs hurt from all of the dust and mold. So this weekend is for sleeping. And coughing.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: October 26-30, 2020

My notes are less than satisfactory this week. Yes, I do actually take notes, because by the time Friday comes, I can't usually remember what happened at the beginning of the week. I do know that it was raining most of the week, which also brings the general mood of things right down. My calendar tells me that I had two doctor's appointments this week, so I know I was out of the office for at least a couple of hours. 

So, work stuff. I've been working on Tamil still. We didn't resolve the justification issue, but we'll get there. We've been doing more on the Zoom bootcamp. I have to say, we are making progress. It doesn't feel like it sometimes, but we genuinely are. HOWEVER, there is still a lot left to do, and we have a week. Pray for us. 

I honestly don't have much else to say. A very good friend of mine is in town right now, so we will hopefully be hanging out. Otherwise, I'm very tired, so I'm going to sleep a lot this weekend (I hope) and generally loaf about. I hope you have as fulfilling a weekend as you want.

Bye!

Oh yeah... Have a photo.

The Weekly Wrap-Up: October 19-23, 2020

Hey look, it's a new language! And a new dilemma. I've been working on Tamil all week. (No disrespect intended, but I did tell a couple of people this week that this language looks like someone started with the secret code made out of a tic-tac-toe board and then created the rest during an earthquake. It's trippy.) Tamil is spoken primarily in India. And as you can see, the words (or phrases, I can't tell) are quite long. This creates issues with spacing. I did the first group while leaving the paragraphs with full justification, but I moved on to the second group while I wait for the translator to tell me which of these versions is preferred. Honestly, I don't like either of them, but I'd probably ask for left justification just because I've seen how much space there is sometimes. And I like consistency. 

I've also been working on the Zoom bootcamp. We're getting closer, so I'm trying to be supportive and help people when they ask. I'm editing practice sessions and helping consolidate things, and generally just trying to be encouraging. We'll see how it goes. 

We did our annual prayer walk for chapel on Wednesday. Obviously, it was a bit different from normal. But it was still a great experience. I usually stay at HQ and pray over the cubicles and offices. I asked Alex to join me this time. There were a lot more people around than I thought there would be (we wore our masks, don't worry), and definitely more than normal since we usually do this in groups and most people were going out individually and then returning. Anyway, we prayed with the people who were here and prayed over empty spaces and the people who are now working at home. 

Oh, and my prayer letter will be coming out sometime in the next couple of weeks. 

Let's see, that's about it, really. My health stuff is progressing. I had some blood work done this week. That was fun. I have been feeling better most days, so that's good. I appreciate all of the prayers. Definitely keep them coming.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: October 12-16, 2020

I have so many tabs open on my computer. It's truly terrible. But I guess that might be a sign of good things. It's been a really productive week, for one thing. And my brain is a bit scrambled. So, you know, you take the good, you take the bad - the facts of life. 

Anyway, you can tell we're getting to the end of the year because everyone is freaking out and trying to get stuff done. This week, those things had to do with the ECC retreat and the upcoming bootcamp Zoom training. So I put together the gift survey because I like it when people tell me random things about themselves, and then Paul and I created six sessions for the bootcamp attendees to present and practice their Zooming skills. We took a meta approach (my idea) so that we could reinforce some principles while making learning fun. Yay!

Anyway, I actually spent a lot of time on Zoom this week trying to get all of this done. I think Tuesday was the worst - I clocked about six hours on video chat. But I managed to write my prayer letter while doing that, so hooray for multi-tasking. I also managed to finish two groups of Telugu this week, so I am on a role! 

One of the things I did for the retreat was to put together my annual Amazon Christmas wish list. I'm going to share that with you now. No particular reason. Just because. 

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1G3P2CHO1L1HQ?ref_=wl_share

It's pretty much me in a nutshell.

Anyway, I'm going to go curl up in my warm bed with some cocoa and read some nice books this weekend. I hope yours is just as fulfilling.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: October 5-9, 2020

It's been a whirlwind of a week for languages. The last group of Hindi is done. And I published a group of French. And now I'm starting Telugu. I'd be hard-pressed to find three more different languages (well, not that hard - I've seen some doozies). But it's been quite interesting to work with each group. And it's nice to get something else published. Telugu has been hanging around for a while as we figured out how to accurately portray it. 

That's Luke 5:5-7. And I only know that because I keep the English booklet up on my other monitor to make sure everything stays in the right place. I couldn't even begin trying to learn this language. Thank the Lord for variety!

We have a new team member! BJ Williamson is coming on to be our full-time translator liaison. This is an important role that had previously been split up between three people before now. Our translators are amazing, but they each have different needs in communication and technology, and it can be difficult to keep track of everything, especially when you already have a few other full-time jobs. BJ has been a missionary in Ecuador for many years, so he has a lot of experience in dealing with other cultures. Plus, he speaks Spanish, so he understands the difficulty inherent in translation. We've been working to get him up to speed so he can be fully immersed by January. 

PLUS, we're working on the ECC retreat for December. I know, I know. Like all things in 2020, we're doing it virtually. But we still have to figure out how to do gifts and some spiritual formation and have time to chat with people. And because it's virtual, we could theoretically invite more people. All things to take into consideration, and we've left it rather late since we didn't know for sure what we'd be doing. COVID really does know how to spoil everything, doesn't it?

That's about it for the week. I'm working on some donor stuff, and I need to get my next prayer letter done, but that will all have to happen in whatever spare moments I can scavenge. I have to find a topic for my prayer letter, first. Any ideas?

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: September 28 - October 2, 2020

 How has everyone's week been?

It's been pretty good around here. I've been working on Hindi booklets, which are fun. Glyph languages present their own challenges, but sometimes it's nice to not know what's going on. I just assume it's correct and let the proofreaders do their thing. This is only one of the Indian languages we're doing right now. I haven't worked with Tamil or Telugu, yet. Supposedly, they have even more funky characters, so those should be quite interesting. Not sure when we'll get to them, though. We have a huge queue of projects waiting. Job security, I suppose.

I've been trying to count how many meetings I attended this week (all on Zoom, of course). I think it's about six, and all lasted at least an hour. Some were closer to three hours. I can't say all of them were vital, but we did do some important stuff at least. We have a new team member, who I will introduce at a later date (probably next week), so we're trying to get them up to speed. 

I have nothing profound this week. I pulled something in my back today, so that's taking up a lot of my thought processing ability right now. But I hope you have a lovely weekend! Be good, vote early, and ignore the muck. 

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: September 21-25, 2020

Lots to celebrate this week! Those four groups of Haitian Creole are now fully published! Yay! We typically say that the first three groups of a language represent the MVP - minimum viable product. We picked the booklets in those groups specifically because they are the ones used most often and necessary to starting the process of church multiplication. So, it's nice to be able to send these booklets to our partners in Haiti to begin training.

I was also able to advance the new booklets in Spanish. If you recall, we are doing three versions of Spanish, two of which have been published already. However, we didn't get the two new booklets done in those versions of Spanish, so we've been playing catch up. 

Other than that, it's been a fairly tame week. The usual meetings and phone calls happened, and we had a nice lunch with the local ECC folks on Thursday. We don't really see each other that much (understandably), and I think we're all missing the community aspect of our jobs. Zoom just doesn't cut it. 

I read somewhere about the six month wall. Like, six months into a traumatic event, you start really feeling the fatigue, especially when the outcome of that event is uncertain. I don't know if it's super scientific, but I have hit that wall. I was dealing really well with the pandemic in the first few months, and then as it drags on, I've become less and less ... secure is really the only word I can think of that fits even marginally well. I don't deal well with uncertainty, and that is going around in spades right now. So I'm withdrawing a bit. I'm limiting my social media, I'm limiting my news intake, and I'm limiting how much I'm going out as well. I've dealt with anxiety before, but never quite on this level, and I need to figure out how to deal with things now. 

Which means I appreciate your prayers, especially now. I hope you are well, and if you've hit your own wall, give yourself a break. We're in uncharted territory. Stick to what you know to be true, and rely on your faith.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: September 14-18, 2020

Language of the Week: Haitian Creole

Groups : 1-4

Status: (Mostly) ready to be published next week

As far as work goes, this has been a fairly productive week. I made it through four groups of Haitian Creole in the midst of various meetings and Zoom fatigue and phone calls asking random computer questions. 

Personally, the week has been rough. I'm dealing with anxiety and medication issues and loneliness and all the other fun stuff that comes with COVID and an uncooperative body. 

So we push forward. Life goes on and all that. I appreciate your prayers and encouragement, and I would encourage you to spend less time online (missing out on my keen wit notwithstanding) and more time meditating on God's glory and grace. I'm endeavoring to do the same. 

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: September 8-11, 2020

I'm seriously contemplating removing the Internet from my life for the next two months. I don't know if it's possible. But it's incredibly tempting. 

In the meantime, we can continue as usual. 

This was a short week, and it was an awesome feeling to actually get some sleep last weekend. I say some because I was kitten-sitting, and kitty's got claws. But I still have some skin, so it's fine. 

It's all Haitian Creole this week. We started over, essentially, so that all template and style changes and updated transfiles could be incorporated at the same time. I'm taking a little extra time, therefore, because I will also be moving directly to publishing once I've processed the first four groups. Not sure how long that will take, but it's going well. I'm doing it fully in CC, and I've never published in CC, so that could be interesting. 

Just a few side projects this week. We have a few more people trickling into the office, so there's some minor adjustments, but it's still pretty much just the few and the faithful. 

Health update: I was feeling pretty well last week, but this week has not been as encouraging. I had two appointments yesterday, which means three new prescriptions today. So we'll see. That's the motto lately. We'll see. 

I think that's it for the week. I'm working on some stuff behind the scenes, but it's taking a while to sort out my thoughts. 

We'll see.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: August 31 - September 4, 2020

This has been a productive week, so in honor of that, I gave myself a day off. So technically, this should only be through September 3. But I like consistency and symmetry, so there. 

I finished a group of Hindi, which was quite a feat in itself. I mentioned the switch to Adobe Creative Cloud (hereafter referred to as CC), and that has not been without its challenges. One of the reasons we were using CS4 was because it offered a Middle Eastern option, which we needed because of all the glyph languages. (I could be mangling this explanation, but it's how I understand things, so if I'm wrong, don't tell me.) Glyphs are cool, but they do have a tendency to make life rather interesting sometimes. They either don't come in correctly or they end up in weird places, and we don't always catch on because, well, we don't speak or read glyph languages. Sometimes, though, it's pretty obvious. Anyway, Hindi is a glyph language, and what makes it even more interesting is that it tends to sit below a Latin script. I'm not sure how to explain it. Just look up something in Hindi and see how the top bar tends to squash things. Anyway, that means you need less room above a line and more below, because there are little dangly bits that can throw you off as well. But we figured it out, and another group is in the can. 

The other big coup is that I finally (FINALLY) published all of the updated English F booklets. If you recall, I've been working on this project since January. Yeah. It's been my background project for when I needed something to do or just needed a break. But rare are the days when there isn't anything else to do. But I figured 8 months was probably long enough, so I finally found some time to get it done. 

All the usual stuff is still going on, so I'll continue to be plenty busy. But I needed a break. It's weird to think about that this year. You'd think everyone would have had enough of a break with the lockdown. But I didn't really stop doing what I'd been doing. I actually did more, since quite often Sarah and I were the only boots on the ground, so to speak. And I am feeling it. 

So, I am going to enjoy this Labor Day weekend by doing absolutely no labor whatsoever. I hope you are in a position to do the same. 

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: August 24-28, 2020

I started the Weekly Wrap-Up in 2016. I didn't realize it had been that long. But I know I started this in 2016 because I've been going back through my blog in an effort to quantify the last 10 years for my prayer letter. 

Related to that, do you remember when I used to do short little videos of my day? Do you miss those? I feel bad, like I'm not giving you any variety these days. I feel very boring. I used to do things. Granted, there's a pandemic, so no one is doing much of anything. But still. 

This was quite a week. I can't really say it was a good one. In fact, parts of it were pretty bad. I'm not sure how much longer I can last under this constant thrum of anxiety before just curling up into a ball and sobbing into a pillow. 

Oh well. On with the work. Always the work. 

So, like I said, this was an interesting week. We (the production team) have been slowly working toward upgrading our processes and software. There's always an element of wanting to do things better or faster, but we have made incredible progress over the last few months. We are now working in Adobe CC, which if you don't know about Adobe, it's the latest and greatest. Previously, we were working in CS4. Think at least four generations back. It was fine, but it certainly had its issues. As does CC. There's always something that doesn't work quite the same way, so we're kicking the tires and doing some road testing. By 2021, we should be working exclusively in CC, but I'm keeping CS4 around just in case. So part of my week was resetting my workspace to accommodate the new configuration. 

My test project for this has been Amharic. Yes, we are finally getting around to working in this truly fascinating language. Amharic is primarily spoken in Ethiopia, which naturally makes me think of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch. It's such a cool connection. We're just getting started, but I'm already finding it quite different from other languages. There are always different things to watch out for. Full stops in this language (periods in English) sometimes look like :: and sometimes look like something I can't represent with this font. And I wouldn't even begin trying to speak it. 

The rest of the week was filled with little projects - helping people with computers, proofing Outreach pages, finishing my next prayer letter. That should be winging its way to you shortly. 

And that's it. That's the week. I'm trying to find some days I can take off soon. I need a break. But we'll see. 

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: August 17-21, 2020

This week got busy quickly. Like, some weeks you can take a little time to get situated, but this week was like being thrown into the pool as soon as you arrived at the party. The good thing is that these weeks are never boring. 

French is our theme this time. We basically reformatted everything because we'd done some updates, but it was fairly tight, so we went ahead and published it. And I have apparently adopted the royal we. Anyway, the other big project this week is my next prayer letter. It's coming along, but it's hard to sum up 10 years in one letter. True, I've talked about it in three separate venues now, but none of them really seem to capture the reality. I'm not sure anything could. Maybe in my inevitable book. 

Part of working on the prayer letter means I've been scrolling through the last 10 years of blog posts. It's a great way to see just how much things have changed. And how much they haven't. Seriously, there have been times this week when I'm literally groaning in my office at my own writing. If I find myself that irritating, I can only apologize to the rest of you. But it's probably not going to change. Or if it does, it'll take another 10 years to notice. 

And that's about it. Lots of meetings, both scheduled and impromptu, and some side projects that may or may not come to light in the near future. In the meantime, I truly hope you all are doing well. It's a rough road we travel these days.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: August 10-14, 2020

I've been really bad this week about keeping track of what I've been doing. I just know I've tried to be very quiet about it because Sarah and the others have been doing an online training event. They've developed a program called "The Disciple-Making Journey" and have about 40 people participating. They were on two days this week and will be on two days the week after next. So when I had meetings (of which there were many), I made sure my door was closed. Which is very sad and lonely. 

But that's life, sometimes. I'm starting to really feel the impact of being so isolated. It's rough. And chances are it isn't ending anytime soon. But we press on. 

You'll notice I posted a short reflection on my 10-year anniversary. I've also been working on my next prayer letter, which will also look back on 10 years with OMS. It can feel sometimes like you aren't moving, but when I look back at old blog posts and Facebook statuses and diary entries, I can see just how much I've lived through and done and seen, and I remember the people I've met. This year, of course, changed a lot of things, but it happens more often than we realize. I guess our norms just shifted a little more rapidly this time rather than the gradual changes to which we've become accustomed. 

This too shall pass.

Bye!

A Decade of Service

10 years.

Crikey.

I told Patty Collins once that I wanted to make it to 10 years at OMS because then, when I die, I will make it into the Outreach In Memoriam section.

She told me I needed a better reason to stay.

Which, yeah, okay, that's probably true. And there's the whole "God called me here and won't let me leave" angle that we can talk about ad nauseum.

Ahem.

Anyway, the whole Outreach thing got me thinking - what exactly is going to end up in those 3-4 sentences?

It feels very "old white male politician" to be talking about my legacy. But that's where I find myself.

There's a temptation to talk about "the work." And the work is important. I've been in 3 distinct departments since I joined OMS in 2010. There have been aspects of each I've enjoyed. And there have been aspects of each that have been challenging. I'm a behind-the-scenes person. I like it that way. And while I've learned never to say never around here, it's unlikely that I'll ever be a front-line missionary. But the work I do supports people on the front lines. You can't fight a world war without your factories churning out B-52s and M16s.

But I don't want it to be all about the work. That reduces a life down to a series of metrics, and while useful for statistical purposes, they don't really tell you anything about a person. And as we all know, I'm all about the individual.

So I asked around. And as it turns out, people had some pretty nice things to say about me.

"You have a true passion for Christ that won't be swayed by uncomfortable topics and issues that might shake others."

"I am your #1 fan." (That might have been my sister.)

"You have always been obnoxious." (That might have been my other sister.)

"I am very proud of your work at OMS and your commitment to the Christian faith."

"She came, she served, she made a difference."

"You have allowed yourself to learn lessons that God is teaching you, even if you didn't really want to be taught."

And my favorite: "Lover of history, lover of swords, and most importantly lover of Jesus."

That sword thing came up a lot, oddly enough.

One definition of 'legacy' is a gift that is handed down from generation to generation. And I think I want my gift to be Jesus. There's a song by Casting Crowns that spells it out really well. 

All the kingdoms built, all the trophies won

Will crumble into dust when it's said and done

'Cause all that really mattered (is)
Did I live the truth to the ones I love?

Was my life the proof that there is only One

Whose name will last forever?

I don't want to leave a legacy.

I don't care if they remember me.

Only Jesus.

I've only got one life to live.

I'll let every second point to Him.

Only Jesus.

Let's face it. The idea of a legacy is getting some serious facetime in the news these days. Statues are being torn down, some of people who probably shouldn't have been immortalized, some of people who lived lives worthy of remembrance. All of them did good and bad things. But what counts is their legacy. Did they do something worthy of being emulated?

Here's what I want people to remember about me: She loved Jesus, and she encouraged others to do the same.

So what's next? Another 10 years? I have no idea. I didn't think I'd last this long in the first place, so I couldn't begin to speculate. I promised a long time ago (as referenced above) that I'd be here as long as God wanted me to be here. And if he needs me elsewhere, that's where I'll be.

Wherever the journey leads, I hope you'll be right there with me. I appreciate all of you (silent though many of you are), and I thank God that he has provided such excellent companions along the way. 

Here's to the next stretch... 

The Weekly Wrap-Up: August 3-7, 2020

How is it August already? That doesn't seem possible.

Weird time notwithstanding, we now find ourselves drifting inexorably into the latter half of the year. Whatever goals we set back in January are well and truly null and void by now, unless they were to learn how to hibernate and shun our fellow man. Which comes close to what I try to do every year, so maybe we're not as far off as we could be.

I find myself drifting in other ways, mostly to do with concentration. It's a good thing we have a lot of projects going on because I flit from one to the next like a hummingbird searching for nectar. And yet I am apparently devoted to this overly poetic turn of phrase today.

I blame it on my discovery of "The Magnificent Seven." The TV show, not the movies. There is a character therein who possesses a most loquacious spirit, and I find myself emulating said gentleman with impunity.

I think I'm done now.

So, projects. I'm publishing English booklets in different art sets. I'm also using the opportunity to make note of some things we can change or improve the next time around. Not that I think it will be soon, but it's good to take the opportunity while it's there.

I did have something vying for my attention this week, and that was my 10-year recognition lunch on Wednesday. Yes, inexplicably, I have made it 10 years with OMS. That seemed unlikely at best when I started, but here I am, still plugging away. It is indeed fortunate that God knows us better than we know ourselves, because this is not the path I would have chosen. I'm not sure it's what I would choose knowing all that I know now. It's also fortunate that God doesn't reveal the future all that often these days. I'm not sure we'd follow with such abandon if he did.

Anyway, a post reflecting on those 10 years is coming forthwith. I'll finish it in the same timely fashion that I do everything else. Sooo, sometime next year.

Just kidding. Probably.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: July 27-31, 2020

Hola, amigos!

No, I haven't been working on Spanish this week. I've actually been working on publishing more English art sets, but I've been staring at the Spanish flag for a couple of hours now, so that's what you get.

Yes, I am once again covering the front desk. It's just for an afternoon, and I figured I'd get just as much work done upstairs as I normally would on a Friday afternoon. Which is to say, I read all the emails I've been skipping all week and move a bunch of files to where they are supposed to be, all with the added bonus of answering phone calls and letting people into the building. Riveting stuff, I tell you.

I don't have a lot to talk about this week. I've been having some interesting conversations outside of work about spiritual warfare and the armor of God, and I may share those thoughts with you in the future, but I need to ruminate a bit more to make sure they are coherent and factual.

Health update: no change, really, except the meds I'm taking brought a lovely cough as a side effect. This is not a good time for that particular gift. And sleep is only so-so lately. So I appreciate your prayers.

That's about it for the week. I feel like I've been very terse lately. We're all just stuck in this holding pattern, and I feel like I'm running out of gas. I pray you are holding up better than I.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: July 20-24, 2020

Howdy, folks.

I trust you've been well. Perhaps you've been stockpiling masks now that more than 35 states have mandated them. Or maybe you're hunkering down for the duration of this global nightmare. (I hope you have quite the hoard.)

My own week has been fairly quiet, yet productive. I published a beta version of Swahili so that we could get a volume put together for training in Africa, finished a group of Vietnamese, worked the front desk for half a day, and published the two new booklets in Mizo Chin. Not bad for a week's work. I'm anticipating the pace will continue as people start to get back into things, but you never know.

Otherwise, things have been pretty good. My CT scan came back clear, so that's good. But like I said, the piper still has to be paid, and I still await definitive answers for why I feel terrible most days.

But let's not dwell on that. Life marches on, and we march or get dragged behind it.

On that happy note, have a good weekend.

Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: July 13-17, 2020

Ladies. Gentlemen. Ducklings.

(I don't even know anymore. If you're still surprised by my spasticity, then I don't know what to tell you.)

It's been a fairly quiet week around here. Maybe I'm just saying that because this particular day has been dull as a graveyard. Although, I actually find graveyards to be quite interesting and have spent many a Saturday photographing ones in the area, so that might be a bad comparison. Whatever. Today I'm at the front desk, desperately trying not to claw my eyes out in between random phone calls and the occasional delivery. There isn't much to do up here. But, I was asked to cover, and it's sometimes nice to do something different, so here I am.

I don't have my handy cheat sheet for the week's activities in front of me, though, so I'll try to recall the highlights. I do know that I've been working on GR02 of Vietnamese this week, mostly because I've been telling everyone what random words in Vietnamese mean. Do I know what they sound like? No. But I can pick out a few books of the Bible, and I would probably understand yes and no.

I had another doc visit on Wednesday, CT scan this time. Part of me hopes they find something because that's a lot of money to spend on a negative result. But of course, the other part of me hopes they don't find something, because if they do, I will spend even more money getting rid of it. Modern medicine is a marvel, but it's an expensive one.

I helped out in an impromptu fashion on Thursday during a Pineapple PD. I didn't know what that was, and turns out, it is not what they call the law in Spongebob. It's like a teaching thing, short and sweet - personal development? I don't know. Anyway, this one was about how to host a Zoom meeting, and since I did that way back in April, I'm apparently something of an expert. Except Zoom keeps changing all the rules, so mostly I just make things up now. Anyway, I was attending to support my coworker Ashley as this was her first PPD thingie. Thingy? The squiggles like the second version better.

Can you tell my self-diagnosed ADD is kicking in? Umm, what else did I do this week? I started to clean my desk in order to find the 5-year pin OMS gave me, but that project was largely abandoned. I might pick it up again later when I can't find something else. Might be a good idea. But I was thinking about the pin because my 10 year anniversary is coming up, and that's just weird. Not sure we'll do a recognition because of the COVID, but never fear, I've had my speech written for months, and you can be sure I'll be sharing it with you fine folks.

Okay, nine minutes until closing time. I'm gonna take some laps around the lobby to get the feeling back into my legs.

Bye!

Star Wars: The Rise of Meh

Okay, we're finally doing this. I watched the first disappointment in the theater. I watched the second farce under duress. Now I'm finally watching this train wreck. I think I've avoided spoilers, but I'm not sure knowing anything about this movie would actually spoil it.

What are we watching? Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

I have some help this time: Philociraptor (P), Yoda's Tree (Y), Nermal (N), and Eli (E).

Let the torture begin.

Good start so far.

And they ruined it with the text scrawl. WHY bring Palpatine into this?

Kylo is a supreme leader now? Doesn't he know that's my title?

Oooh, he's so angry! That sword is still stupid.

Nice Macguffin. I have a feeling this will lead nowhere.

Oh, it's a map? Maybe? That's the most ridiculous way to get anywhere.

(N is still eating the fantastic pizza she made for us.)

Ugh. Palpatine is apparently a ventriloquist.

"The first order was just the beginning." That is unintentionally funny.

Ew, he's real. Gross hands.

E wants to know what Palpatine told everyone using his sinister voice. We're thinking he asked for some chapstick. Maybe lotion.

Dude, forget the girl.

Those long pauses crack me up. Like, I just imagine it going on forever until someone awkwardly slinks away.

This duo. They need their own movie. A better one.

Ooh, R2 is only good for transporting messages. Poor little guy.

Right, because they intended to lose the war before. (I mean, they may have, according to the way the last movies went.)

I don't think that's how hyperspace works. But again, they didn't care about the rules in the last movie. So.

Wow, J.J. really is copying all the movies.

Oh, hey, dead woman.

This is definitely more than Luke had to do. Discrimination against women.

E likes the toaster effect on the helmet.

P is taunting his mother with a pillow.

Kylo and Rey are communing, but I really don't care.

Oh, hey Harrison.

P wants to remake the old movies with better graphics. We had to break the news to him.

WHY IS LEIA A JEDI MASTER?! SHE IS NOT A JEDI. OR A MASTER.

I like that the Falcon always prompts panic.

I feel like we don't have time for this fight. It's funny, though.

THERE'S A HOBBIT!!!!

Yet another planet I care nothing about.

Moz? Maz? And Rose? So many people.

"I need to go alone." "I know! And we're coming with you!"

She's channeling Padme in that outfit. I like it.

C-3PO sounds old.

What's the significance of the lightsaber? Shouldn't she have made her own?

(P is building a nest.)

Forget the helmet, dude. And why is there a monkey?!

Force choke him!

Never mind, he's hilarious.

Y chimed in - "Star Wars is not below cheap tricks."

I have to say, killing your allies is not the wisest move.

Desert mardi gras.

Why is there a Bollywood dance in this movie? N concurs.

Pig children.

This stupid 'who is Rey?' mystery is tired.

E thinks this message thing is weird. I concur.

I sense foreshadowing. And yet I don't care.

"Follow me if you want to live."

Hi Lando.

Oh look, I was right.

Also, there was a muppet.

That was an early bad feeling, says E.

And podracers are back.

Don't they still have TIE fighters? Couldn't they shoot from above much easier than motorcycles?

Flying stormtroopers is cool.

Still can't shoot.

Oh look, they found the one who can shoot. Very convenient.

Roll credits!

E is annoyed at the last words trope.

Yes, be optimistic.

N is laughing at Poe's inadequacies.

I want this dagger.

This is some Harry Potter shizzle here.

Does any of this move the plot forward? Like, it's fun, but it's also pointless.

Is she a Force healer now? P wants to know where this is in canon.

And the knights are now in Assassin's Creed.

Of course there's still power on this ship that's been abandoned for years.

I feel like we're getting the trailer scene now. I just don't know why.

Black in the desert? That's so last season.

Aww, the walking mop.

There's really no reason for this scene. I thought it was dumb before. I still think it's dumb.

Do or do not. Why are you trying?

Tug o' war is the new penis measuring.

Did they just kill Chewie? Those jerks.

THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!!!

I'm so lost.

Oh good, Chewie is alive.

This guy Richard is playing is the mole, right? Like, there's no other reason to pay this much attention to him, right?

We all have High School Musical vibes now. (P says the new HSM show is not good.)

I sense a new marketing opportunity in this droid.

Still very lost. What are we trying to accomplish?

Sure, put the girl in the skintight outfit. Disney is sexist.

Just kidding, girl power!

Ugh, I hate their musical cue.

Like, I thought JJ had already remade "A New Hope." Why are we doing it again?

I thought Rian Johnson was the only one dedicated to erasing the fun parts of Star Wars.

Y and N are in awe of the finger.

Now I'm getting Prince of Egypt vibes.

Aww, Poe, is this love? I'm weirded out that Keri Russell is in this movie.

Pausing for cookies.

P says Disney is basically that scene from "Rogue One" - "You are being rescued. Please do not resist."

So, our intermission was full of bathroom breaks, cookies, dance moves (Cuban shuffle?), and the legend of Zelda.

Okay, back to the movie. We're not even halfway through this thing.

Ugh.

I swear if there are Ewoks in this movie...

Why did the first two movies exist? They made absolutely no difference.

Dude, there are definitely more stormtroopers on this thing than infiltrators.

I don't know if I can accurately represent how much I don't care who Rey is.

Cool imagery, I have to say.

Really, Hux? That's so dumb. But then again, I don't remember what he did in the last movie. Did he do anything? And what's the point of Richard? What's his name?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! SHE'S HIS FRICKIN' GRANDDAUGHTER? THAT'S SO FLIPPING DUMB.

I'm really confused about the timeline on this. Did Palpatine have a kid on Naboo? (Also, I shocked the children because I asked who in this universe would jump his bones. Oops.)

Y is really shipping Finn and Rey.

How many times can we wreck the Falcon before it's actually wrecked.

P is wondering how something that exploded can have debris on this random planet.

Has no one heard of erosion?

Y says the Death Star is now an oceanic reef. P says what about the fuel?

These are horses with mop heads on them.

See, this is an interesting stormtrooper story.

P is now outside looking for sasquatches.

I'm fine with Poe not being Leia.

Why did Palpatine need the Macguffin when he already had a Death Star? His hubris would never have allowed him to think he could fail.

Daisy had a lot of practice in slow turns, didn't she?

Look, I admire the writers' creativity in pulling all of this out of their butts. But where is it leading?

Now THAT is a cool lightsaber design.

I like Adam Driver as a person. But not as Kylo Ren.

(N is now referencing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.)

Y is questioning the efficacy of wet lightsabers. I concur.

They are both leaving themselves wide open in this battle.

Leia's making a collect call. Will he accept or decline?

Live by the sword, die by the sword...

OH COME ON!!!

We could have been done with him. We never had to see him again.

Oh, Leia's dead again.

How much did Harrison get paid for this movie?

Nice callback.

Oh good, we're destroying planets again.

"I wish the ring had never come to me."

General. General.

Luke just looks terrible.

I hate this backstory. I hate it so much.

I needed an X-wing. I hate this less now.

Y has reminded me of the milk thing. RUDE.

HSM is back.

That's a heckin' lot of ships.

You've got to be kidding me.

I'm being warned that I will hate the end of this movie. I'm inclined to agree.

That's the weirdest life support system I've ever seen.

Dude, get some new lines.

Nice archery. Totally unrealistic. But nice touch.

I've been quiet because this whole thing is dumb. Are these knights Sith? Or just weird ninja things?

Oh good, more Ben/Rey chats.

This is a better fight scene than the last movie. Someone's been training.

thisisnotathingthisisnotathingthisisnot

Oh, snap.

Dude, where have all of these people been this entire time?

IS THAT WEDGE ANTILLES? I LOVE WEDGE!!!

Who are all these robed figures? I'm so confused.

Talk about your overpowered villains.

Oh, good, only the non-important people are dying.

That was kinda cool, with all the voices. I didn't recognize all of them.

P thinks Palpatine looks like a smurf now.

Remember when these movies were simple? I do. I liked those days.

There goes Pryde.

Why can this boy feel the Force again? Did we ever establish that?

Oh good, Ben is back.

Aww, how cute. Ugh.

What a terrible ship.

I'm fine that he's dead. But that's super dumb.

I'm still confused about how this First Order/Empire thing worked. I never had any idea how it worked on a galactic scale. Just these little microcosms that told me nothing.

Oh, there are the Ewoks. Why not.

Learn how to flirt better, Poe.

Chewie finally got his medal!

Y just commented on how rank Rey must smell right now.

This trio was sadly underused.

Is that it? Are we done? Oh, good, Tatooine.

E and P are enjoying remembering whiny Luke.

FINALLY! She made her own lightsaber.

Ugh. Fine. Whatever.

Aaaand we're back on Zelda. Because this movie was just that forgettable.

Okay. Ratings:

Y says 2 out of 5 stars.

P says 4 out of 10, and 3 are for the cinematics. (1 is disgusting, 10 is amazing.)

E says 2 out of 5 because it completely invalidates the other movies.

N says 2.5 out of 5. Way to sit on the fence, Nermal.

Aggregate rating: 2. Out of however many new planets we were introduced to throughout this waste of worldbuilding.

I'm annoyed that I spent time on this movie. But I enjoyed my fellow watchers and their love for me, their true Supreme Overlord.