The Weekly Wrap-Up: June 17-21, 2024

Does anyone know anything about Squarespace? I think that might be my best option for a new website. Let me know.

It's Missionary Council week! That means tons of people, most of whom I never actually see until the picnic (which is tonight). The vibe is definitely different in the building, though, so I mostly just try to stay out of the way. 

This year, they had a lot of things they needed volunteers for. Airport runs, kid wrangling, and performance art were my three. I did a half day of kid duty on Tuesday and played more ping pong than I have in all previous years of my life. Those kids are rotten cheaters, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :D Then on Thursday, we did a demonstration of various ways of welcoming new missionaries to a field. I was the desperate, all-about-me style. I had fun playing the part, especially because it is not my style at all. I would more likely be the introverted wallflower waving awkwardly in the corner. But it's nice to do a little acting now and then.

In between these duties, I was continuing with my art swaps. Every time I go through the English books, I find more and more things to fix. I have no idea how long it will take to do all nine art sets, but I'll be shocked if I finish before the end of the year. It needs to be done, though, so we can actually start doing other languages and projects. 

I'm still recovering from the news last week. Basically, two of our leadership positions were eliminated. I'm still trying to work out what that means for the rest of us. I know the landscape of missions is changing, and we're trying to keep up. But I also think we shouldn't be too focused on what everyone else is doing at the expense of what is working for our organization. It's not like this is new territory for the Church, but it's still a challenge to navigate. 

I'm also looking for some new funding partners and opportunities, so if you think of someone I should connect with, please let me know. 

Stay cool. Bye!

The Weekly Wrap-Up: May 27-31, 2024

Ey up!

Quiet week, eh?

I'm not going to get bogged down in politics on here. That's not what this blog is for. All I will say is that we have entered dangerous territory where lawfare is de rigueur, and that should terrify us all. 

In the mission world, I can't say it's much better. If you haven't heard, a young missionary couple was murdered in Haiti along with the director of the local mission. OMS no longer has missionaries in Haiti, but we do have national partners and relationships that have lasted for decades. What is happening in Haiti is heartbreaking and infuriating. It does not bring glory to God in any way. I am praying that God works through the violence and upheaval to raise up strong, godly leaders who stand against such activities. 

I almost forgot that I was actually out last week. I organize an annual community garage sale for the folks who live here on campus, so I was doing that last week. It's amazing how much stuff accumulates in such a short time. 

This week, I was fully back to it with art swaps for the templates. I was going to change each individual set of files until V reminded me that I can just swap out the art. It's not fool proof, but it does save a lot of time. Right now I'm working on Art F. (Usually, I would say F Art, but that makes things awkward. So Art F it is.)

I'm also working on my funding. I should honestly probably talk about it more on here, but it's my least favorite part of being a missionary. Yet it's so vital to what I do! We all need to make a living. Mine just happens to be dependent on people graciously supporting me with funds. I'm working to meet new people and make new connections so I can raise my salary to match inflation and maybe even start travelling to fields again. If you would like to start giving, you can visit www.onemissionsociety.org/give/JessicaHollopeter to learn more. If you know someone who should hear more about my ministry with Train & Multiply, please leave a comment or email me with some info. 

I am going to a Fiber Festival and a Strawberry Festival this weekend. I hope you have some great experiences as well.

Bye!

Why You Shouldn't Have a Threesome

I received a stark reminder of something this week.

It's something I don't necessarily think about a lot. Something I suppose I take for granted or just assume to be the way of things for everyone. When I do think about it, I just shrug and say "Well, duh." It's so obvious.

But this week, I actually stopped and gave it some Serious Thought. Is it actually obvious? Or is it one of those things that, in theory, seems straightforward, but in practice is actually pretty much ignored?

I'll stop being cryptic now and just lay it out.

My relationship with Jesus involves exactly two people: me and Jesus.

I know. Duh.

But I think we've become really comfortable inviting other people into it. I think our relationship with Jesus can very easily become filtered through other things.

What things, you ask?

Our church.

Our denomination.

Our pastor.

Our spiritual mentor.

Our ministry.

Our Christian non-profit/sending agency/organization.

Our school.

Our politics.

There are more. Take your pick. I feel like this list is enough to tick most of you off, though.

What does this look like in practice? Try a few of these on for size.

"I go to church every Sunday and attend small group there. We're always attending the fun events they have, and the kids just love the activities there. We've made some amazing friends at our church, and I just don't know what I'd do without them."

"I really believe in the precepts of our denomination. They've done a great job of laying out what we believe and how it should impact our lives. They have a great plan for the future, and they are keeping us on the right path."

"My pastor has been such a good friend to us. I love his teaching, and his messages are just so on point! He always seems to just say that one thing that gets me through the week."

"I had an amazing conversation with my mentor the other day. Our book study has been so timely for everything going on right now, and my mentor has been really encouraging."

"This ministry is growing like you wouldn't believe! So many people are coming to know Jesus, and I am so blessed to be able to help them. We're probably going to expand our outreach programs and start some new churches in the villages."

"This organization is doing great things in the community. I really appreciate how they give so many opportunities to get involved. Did you see their story of impact the other day? Incredible!"

"I'm just learning so much in my Bible class. And really, how Christianity is interwoven in history is amazing. I read Ephesians in the original Greek and have a deeper understanding of Paul's mindset."

"Governor So-and-So is going to do great things for this country. He believes in God, and I think God has ordained him for such a time as this. The Party is behind him all the way."

If your relationship with Jesus is defined by or filtered through any of these things, you are in for a fall.

Because All.

Of.

These.

Things.

Fail.

Church - "I don't like the singing. The programs have become really stale. I don't like it since the Johnsons moved away. The kids are too old/young/rambunctious."

Denomination - "I don't agree with that interpretation of the rules. We need to be more relevant/stick to tradition. The foreign contingent of the denomination isn't doing things the way they're supposed to."

Pastor - "I can't believe he said that/wore jeans/embezzled funds/had an affair/raped a child."

Mentor - "They said something the other day that made me uncomfortable. They were too busy to meet me. I discovered they watch porn."

Ministry - "We just aren't growing anymore. We decided to stop telling people about Jesus because it makes people uncomfortable. I haven't seen my kids in three months."

Organization - "There are some really sketchy things in their past. They had to leave that country for unspecified reasons. They spend money on unimportant things."

School - "We spent three hours arguing about where an article goes in this sentence. It changes everything!"

Politics - "The government lied. My candidate lied. The Party lied. None of them have my best interests in mind."

Any of that sound familiar? You mad yet?

Look, I'm not denouncing any of these people or places or organizations. All of those statements up there about how much these things can help people are positive. We're supposed to go to church. We're supposed to engage in discipleship with others. They can be excellent tools to help us grow in our faith. But they aren't integral to the process.

My relationship with Jesus involves exactly two people: me and Jesus.

Jesus is the only constant in that equation. He's not going to fail, He's not going to change, He's not going to alter the dynamics. He's definitely not going to invite anyone else in.

That's all us. We're human. We're fallible. We're incredibly fickle. If we start making our relationship with Jesus dependent on someone or something else's actions, we're doomed. I hear about it every day. People fall away from the faith because the person or thing they made responsible for that faith failed them.

I can readily admit that I've struggled with this. For a very long time, my faith was not my own. I had faith because my parents did. I had faith because my church was good to me. I had faith because I went to a Christian school. I had faith because it was a logical progression of my upbringing. But the moment that foundation started to shake, I was in trouble. I had very little faith of my own to serve as an anchor. My faith was not solely contingent on my relationship with Jesus. It took me a long while to decide whether or not Jesus was worth pursuing solely on His merits. 

I can't even say I'm totally there, yet. It's a very subtle and seductive temptation to start putting faith in something else. You don't even realize you're doing it until that thing collapses from underneath you, and if you aren't careful, you can lose your faith right along with it. I've seen it again and again, especially lately. I'm attuned to it. Everything going on with the Southern Baptists, New Tribes, United Methodists... These are all man-made organizations. They are going to disappoint you because they are full of flawed people who have a tendency to prioritize themselves or a myriad of other things over their relationship with Jesus Christ.

You wanna get more personal with this? Okay. Let's get more personal about this.

I am a missionary with One Mission Society. OMS has a long and varied history. I believe they have good intentions and wonderful people and leaders who are dedicated to following Jesus. I think many of its ministries are doing important things, and I think OMS is making an impact around the world.

None of these are reasons I work for OMS. I work for OMS because this is where God has called me. If God hadn't called me here, I don't know that I would still be working here. OMS has its fair share of problems. They have always had problems. Sometimes those problems have been minor and fairly easily (and quietly) corrected. Sometimes those problems are systemic and incredibly messy and may or may not be public.

I don't usually talk about them here. Mostly because they don't need to be talked about. They are internal issues, and gossip is a sin. It's damaging to the Body of Christ. But you better believe that if I think something is being covered up, I will absolutely tell whatever authority needs to know, and if it gets ignored then, I'll probably go to World Magazine because I respect them and I think they'd be fair.

It hasn't come to that, obviously. But if I had come here with the expectation that they could be my spiritual home (which I kind of did at first), I would have been (and have already been) sorely disappointed.

But I'm still here. Because this is where Jesus wants me, and this is where I think I can still do some good. But my faith is in Jesus. Not OMS. Your faith, as a financial supporter of my ministry, needs to be in Jesus. Don't put it in me. I will disappoint you. I probably already have. And don't put your faith in OMS to use your money appropriately (though I think you can, and I also think any donor to anything should do their due diligence in demanding to know how their money is used). I'm not asking people to support me. I'm asking people to ask God what they should do with their money, and I'm trusting God to make funds available to keep me doing what He's asked me to do. (I don't know how this turned into a funding post.)

Did I lose you on this rabbit trail? It's very likely. I just want to reiterate my point, and if it's the only thing you remember from this extremely long rant, I'll consider my job done.

My relationship with Jesus involves exactly two people: me and Jesus.

Your relationship with Jesus involves exactly two people: you and Jesus.

You can trust people to be people. You can trust God to be God.

Which of those sounds like a better option?

Is that an update I spy?

Sarah just told me that I could write about the random piece of candy that has been sitting on my desk for who knows how long and it would still be interesting.

I'm questioning her sanity.

But I'm also taking it as a subtle hint that I should actually update this thing once in a while.

So here goes.

Last time, I wrote about spiritual warfare. That's definitely still a thing. Sometimes, I feel like every day is a struggle. But there are also good days. Days where I feel productive and like what I do makes a difference. So there's that.

A lot has happened since then. I spent two days in Vancouver, Washington, learning how to support raise the right way. While there, I also saw my good friend Addie. She is a blessing, and while I'm sad that she is all the way on the other side of the country, I'm also happy that we got to hang out. Plus, she's an excellent excuse to go gallivanting.

I've been working on my funding since I got back. It's a slow process, especially considering I'm still doing all my usual jobs. But I'm slowly finding a balance. It's all stuff that has to be done, and I'm decent under pressure. God either wants me here or he doesn't, so I'm going to keep doing my job and see where the road takes me.

This means a lot of travel, of course. I have found every back road and holler on the way from Greenwood to Huntington and beyond. I've battled major road closures and minor fender benders. (Not mine, thank the Lord.) I feel like I'm in the slow lane. But progress is being made.

I also spent a few days in Toledo at a women's conference. It's a little weird, since my home church isn't UB and I really only get to one when I'm with my parents. But I do still feel a connection to the United Brethren. It was a huge part of my life for a very long time, yet somehow I always forget just how many connections I actually have with them. I'm not a wife or a mother, though, and it's hard to connect to a lot of events designed for women because that's what they tend to focus on. But I thought it was a good experience, and it gave me some time in the city of my birth. I haven't lived there in years, but there's always that tether that connects you to important places. It's a part of home.

I'm going to start up the weekly updates again next week. Technically, this is one. But it's also something more. I'm working on four groups of Portuguese, which will soon be published. I'm also working on a prayer letter, which I'm hoping will be ready to mail next week. I also went to Noblesville yesterday with the retreat planning team. We wanted to make sure we had all the details on the place that's hosting the ECC retreat in December. Do you know how much work it is to plan something designed to be restful?

So. Here's what I need from you: encouragement, prayers, ideas of what you want to know about, etc. Give me a wave or a shout. Remind me that I'm valuable.

Be cool. 

The Weekly Wrap-Up: June 18-22, 2018

So I'm actually writing this from the front desk of OMS today. I usually work on this off and on from my desk downstairs, but they needed someone to cover reception for a couple of hours, so here I am. It's been fairly quiet, and I write that knowing that I'm probably about to get fifty calls in a row now. Tempting fate and all that jazz.

I finished another group of Hakha Chin this week, including the booklet I affectionately refer to as "The One Where We Commit Murder." No joke, the booklet is a narrative, and in the course of things, we actually kill the evangelist. I can still remember the first time I read it, thinking, Is this really going where I think it's going? Oh. Wow. Yep. Dead guy.

Not that we show the dead guy. But it was a little more frank about things than we usually are. Fact is, missionaries die sometimes. It's not pretty. There are the ones you hear about because their story was especially dramatic or inspiring. But there are a bunch more who you will never know about until you get to heaven. People who labored in Africa or darkest Peru and got malaria after six months or got bit by some weird animal - I sound like I'm playing Oregon Trail now. Point is, I was impressed that we actually went there in this booklet, but it still catches me off guard every time I work on it.

The other booklets were much less traumatic, unless you count their formatting, but how many times can I really complain about how we didn't allow enough white space for translation? I'm bored, you're bored, so let's just assume that's always the case with every booklet and move on.

I'm thinking about my next letter and what I'm going to write. It'll have to wait until after conference, but I don't want it to be just about conference. I need to address my funding needs, and I'm trying to find a way to do it that isn't pleasehelpI'msuperpoor.

Although true, I'd like to present the many benefits of supporting a missionary. To that end, I'm asking for your help. As a supporter of said missionary, what are the benefits you experience? Are there any? Am I doing a terrible job of imparting these benefits to you? What can I do better? I'm very interested in your answers.

And if you can spare a few extra dollars over the next few months, it would be greatly appreciated. I've had several unexpected medical expenses on top of expected ones, plus my laptop died and needs to be replaced, and I had to decline several car repairs because I don't have the funds for upkeep. As always, prayers are also needed.

Okay, so I can't actually say there have been fifty calls. But there have been about a dozen, which is odd for Friday afternoon, and I should probably pay attention to my duties.

Bon chance, mes amis!





Oh! Pic of the week!

Look at these beautiful people! We all matched one day (sort of) and just had to take a photo. Aren't we precious?

Okay, I'm really done now. 

The Missionary Question

Sweet butter crumpets.

There's a link under there, in case you were wondering. Please, take a few moments to read that post, and then come on back, because I have a few things to say.

...

I assume you've read it. Depending on your background, you probably had a few different reactions to it. Believe me, I've heard them all. I'm interested in your thoughts.

But I'm going to focus on my own experiences with this for a few minutes. Possibly longer. There's a lot rolling around in my head right now. I'm going to get very personal. I intend to share some things that I don't usually because they may not fit in with your idea of what a missionary should think or say. It's not that I've never felt these things before. It's just that I've always felt the need to censor myself on certain things. There's a voice in my head that is always reminding me, "If people really knew you'd thought these things, if people knew these things had happened, if people really knew... They'd never support you."

So we're going to test that out.

Do you know the #1 question I get asked when I share in churches? It doesn't matter if it's before or after I've spoken. I will inevitably get this question: So where are you going?

Short answer: I'm not. I'm a missionary who lives in the U.S.

Long answer: Why do I have to be going somewhere? I'm going to Greenwood, Indiana, where I live. Does that count? There's a whole building there full of people who have both gone and not gone to places other than the United States. We have the same goals as people who have "gone" somewhere. Or do you want to know about the short-term trips I've been on? I can make them sound like they were longer. More involved. Can I skip this question and talk about the people who use the materials I create? They live in places like Peru and India. In fact, they've lived in Peru and India their entire lives. Why does the work they do in their home country count for more than the work I do in my home country?

Except I can't say that. It's antagonistic. I can't tell people I work behind-the-scenes because that is apparently code for "not a real missionary." I catch myself distinguishing between homeland missionaries and field missionaries. Field missionaries come here all the time and thank us for the work we do in supporting them. And I appreciate that. I just don't know a lot of other people who do.

Field missionaries go to churches and tell dynamic stories about all the people they've led to Christ. I go to churches and tell people about the field missionaries who led people to Christ using the materials I created on my computer. Somehow, being just that little bit removed from the action makes what I do less than.

I try to make up for it. I tell people less about how I spend my time and more about the impact T&M has on countries around the world. Have I been to these countries? Some of them, sure. But mainly as an observer. Sometimes as a trainer. For some, it's been years and had nothing to do with OMS. And I haven't been out of this country since 2013. That hurts my soul.

I can't talk about how I miss my family. My parents live two hours away. I have regular(ish) phone contact with my sisters. What is there to miss? I can't say that I missed my grandmother's funeral because of work. Because I was dealing with some pretty serious problems with my job. That I was about to not have a job, and I had interviews and meetings, and it didn't matter that I was still in the States - I couldn't make it happen. (In fact, it might have been easier to go if I'd been out of the country. I know. It's weird, but true.)

I have family that doesn't support what I do. I have family that doesn't really know what I do. I have family that doesn't like it when I ask for money. I also have family that supports me unconditionally. It runs the gamut.

All of this runs through my head every time I write a prayer letter or plan a supporter event or go speak in churches. I try to guess what people are thinking when they hear me. I'm trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator, but all too often, that seems to me to be people who really don't know what I do, don't care, and don't really believe that what I do counts as missionary work.

I'm sorry about that. I'll try to think better of you.

But I also have to stop making excuses for myself. I have to stop thinking of myself as less than.

I am a missionary.

I was called by God to this position and this place.

I'm good at what I do.

My job is vital in this ministry.

My salary comes through donations made by people who either believe in me or in this ministry.

I can't force people into either category. They have to follow God's leading (or not) to support me.

Side note: I made a deal with God when I first became a missionary. You can argue the theology of that all you want, but I felt like God was telling me that it was okay to put out a fleece. (Personally, I think Gideon was mostly a chump. But he followed through on what the fleece was telling him to do. And I can do no less.)

My fleece was pretty simple. As long as there were funds in my account, I would stay with OMS. That was my sign that God wanted me to stick around. Simple, right?

Twice now I have been miraculously kept in the OMS family. The first time, my account was $10,000 in deficit. Seems like a pretty obvious sign of being released, right? I didn't just give up. I spent a summer doing fundraising. I gave it my all. And I raised slightly more than it cost to travel that summer. I was ready to go. I didn't want to. But a deal's a deal. But then I got a job offer from someone at OMS to help set up a new project. I literally left OMS on Friday and started back the following Tuesday (it was Labor Day weekend).

I knew I had a job for at least 8 months. That stretched to 11. And then for a month, I had no job. I was ready to leave OMS at that point. I wanted to. But I didn't feel like God was releasing me. And I kept showing him my rapidly emptying bank account. We had a deal! But God sent me to ECC.

True, I get a stipend from ECC. They needed someone to fill this position, and they needed that person right away. But I knew going in that the stipend would only last so long. It'll be gone soon. And to stay at OMS, I have to make up the difference.

Slightly less than half of my monthly requirements come in through donations right now. The rest will come from a small cushion in my support account. That's what I'm trying to raise when I speak at churches.

Whew. I wasn't sure I was going to make it back around to my original point.

This is all stuff I don't tell people. I don't know if people even want to know these things. I don't mind people knowing. But it feels like I'm trying to guilt people into giving. Please help the poor missionary! Yet it's the reality of being a missionary. We don't do this job to be rich. But being not poor would be nice, too.

Look, it's no secret that 'going somewhere' ups your missionary cred. And believe me, if I was called to serve in another country, I'd go. I have no doubt I'd get a lot of new supporters. But I'm called to be here. Do I believe God will provide? Yes. But I'm also human. I worry. I have doubts. I think about the magical formula of what will make people interested in giving to support my ministry. I downplay the nine hours I spend on my computer every day working with InDesign files (and agonizing over blog posts). I mention the possibility of trips to Israel and the Philippines as evidence that I'm actually going to do something as a missionary.

You know, I use that verse the article mentioned a lot when I speak in churches. Romans 12 and I are like this. I try to be subtle in pointing out that I'm just as much of a missionary as those guys with pictures of cute children and huts in Africa.

I may look different.

But I'm exactly what God called me to be.

Would you like to support my ministry with OMS? You can follow this link for handy-dandy online giving. Or you can leave a comment for more information.

You can also hear more of my particular brand of wit and wisdom May 21 at OMS in Greenwood, Indiana. I'll be giving an up close and personal view of what my missionary journey looks like. You can comment or email for more info on that, too.  

Back when I first started funding, I was actually really excited about it. I had enthusiasm, I had drive. I knew academically that it would be hard, but I knew that God was calling me to missions, so it would happen.

At the first church where I spoke, I met with great response. People were interested in what I was doing, and one person in particular offered to head up a prayer team. I had a team of people who promised to pray for me and encourage me and keep me accountable. I counted on that individual to keep things going.

It lasted about two weeks.

Problem is, it took me a couple of months to figure out that things weren't moving. And by that time, there was a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

So my own excitement was cut to the quick.

I need to reignite that passion. I think I'm getting there. But I need your help. 

Winning and Losing

You know those giveaways that we sometimes enter, knowing deep down that we will probably not win, but honestly hoping that this time this time it will be your name they call?

Yeah, I'm falling prey to about six of those right now.

It's really annoying.

There's a scene in Chariots of Fire between Harold Abrahams and Sybil Gordon. She's comforting/chastising him after he loses a race and freaks out. Harold says, "If I can't win, I won't run." And Sybil immediately responds with "If you don't run, you can't win."

I loved that scene. Still do, really. And to a certain extent, it's true.

But it also sets a dangerous precedent.

This is how people get caught up in gambling. They know the odds (and they are astronomical), but as long as there is the slimmest chance of winning, they believe it could happen.

Now, I'm not saying that entering a drawing or signing up for a giveaway is akin to gambling (though I'm still not sold on raffles).

But they still put you on the path of depending on luck instead of buckling down and working to improve your own lot.

And they are hard to resist.

For example, Dave Ramsey sent me an email recently with the subject line of "Not opening this email could cost you $5,000."

How do you not open that email and give them your name?

Look, I would love to win one of these. I'm in desperate need of extra funds.

But if I do win, what does that do to me? Do I start relying on luck to get me out of a jam instead of learning from and paying for past mistakes?

I don't know.

And if I continue not winning, what does that do to me? Is there such a thing as too much false hope? Does the constant cycle of rising hope and crushed dreams have a horrible psychological effect?

I don't know.

But I do know that I can't live like something or someone is going to bail me out. (Not even the government.) Sure, extra money would be welcome. But I shouldn't be sunk if I don't get it.

I would still really, really like to win one of these giveaways, though. 

Rapids '15

Last week I attended the National Conference of the United Brethren in Christ denomination. It was an opportunity to connect with supporters, speak with pastors, and spend time with my parents.

There was a lot of worry going into it. Our Bishop resigned quite suddenly, so there was some question of what would happen. There were also a couple of resolutions that would directly affect the future of the denomination. I don't normally attend the business session, and to be honest, I didn't attend much of it this time, either. Part of that is because non-voting people were kicked out for an executive session to discuss the Bishop issue. But I have connections, so I knew what was going on anyway.

I was a little disappointed with the communication side of things. I didn't have a booth, so it was a little harder to make connections with people. I didn't set up as many meetings as I would have liked. I don't think I gained any new supporters. And I didn't really communicate the goals of Train & Multiply to anyone except the wife of another mission leader.

Let's face it. I'm not naturally gifted in the area of fund raising. I prefer to have a relationship with someone before I ask them for money, and that takes time and common ground. Time is always an issue because there is so much stuff going on. I think it's harder for stateside people because we're still expected to get our jobs done. Field missionaries take a year specifically for funding. Granted, stateside people have weekends to work on it.

Common ground is also hard for me. Sure, we all love Jesus. But there are a lot of areas in which to love Jesus. People are passionate about different things. I'm passionate about grammar. And history. And science fiction. And being alone. These are not always conducive to conversation.




I guess there isn't much of a point to this post after all. Just an update. 

Official

It's officially official.

I'm leaving OMS.

There will be a letter soon, probably without nearly enough explanation. I'll try to explain a little bit on here as I can. The reasons mostly have to do with funding. It's definitely been an interesting time emotionally. I've been very up and down. On the one hand, I'm positive that this is God's will. (In case you were wondering, yes, this is what the fleece was about. No dew.) On the other hand, I literally don't know what comes next. My eyes are open. I just need to keep trusting that God knows what He's doing.

(On a side note, OMS has decided to stop capitalizing God pronouns. I can't quite get out of the habit. We're also using the serial comma now. It's both a blessing and a curse.)

So yeah, that's my life right now.

I would happily accept any ideas.

Come See Me!

I will be traveling quite a bit in the next few weeks speaking at churches and making home appointments. If you are available and close to one of the locations, I'd love to see you! Here's the schedule for June:

June 2 morning (10:30am): Cold Springs Church - Fayetteville, PA

June 2 evening (7pm): Fountain UB - Keyser, WV

June 5 evening (6pm): Franklintown UB - Franklintown, PA

June 9 morning (9, 10:30am): Hillsdale UB - Hillsdale, MI

June 23 morning (10:30am): Corunna UB - Corunna, IN

June 26-29: UB National Conference - Fort Wayne, IN

June 30 morning (10:30am): Mount Pleasant UB - Angola, IN

I will also be making one-on-one appointments, so if you're in the area and would like to get coffee or lunch, give me a call. 260.224.4291

And pray for traveling mercies!

Struggles

I complain a lot about support raising, and I shouldn't, because it's an important part of ministry and it's biblical.

It's also terrifying for me. Your prayers would be appreciated as I work, by God's grace, to overcome this difficulty.

I love what I do. And I want to keep doing it for as long as God calls me to stay.

Consciousness

I spend a lot of time inside my head.

It's a dangerous place to be.

I think about very nebulous and large topics like politics and religion.

I think about very specific topics like how the air coming into the building now smells like wet fabric with a hint of hay and whether I should park my car on the street or in the garage.

I think about TV shows I want to watch, books I need to reread, calls I should be making.

What work will look like this week.

Whether or not to adopt a cat.

How long I can get away with dancing in the rain before I get sick.

Why dancing in the rain for the rest of my life sounds infinitely more preferable than funding.

How tired of thinking about funding I really am.

Life.

The universe.

Everything.

How 42 really doesn't answer anything.

Who even reads this stuff.

What's on my brain today?

Funding.

And it will be there a while.
 

Jeremiah 29 Redux

Confession time. I can't stand people who claim Jeremiah 29:11 as their life verse. Mostly because I don't think you can have just one verse as your life verse. But also because everyone chooses Jeremiah 29:11. I'm anti-establishment.

However. If you read the entirety of Jeremiah 29, you realize that this verse is in the context of a letter to the exiles. Their entire world had been taken away, and they were afraid to move on. What would that mean? Is it okay to enjoy life again even if you've lost everything? How do you worship God in that context?

I feel like an exile.

I'm a very solitary person. I like knowing that I'm safe and have a secure future. I also know that things can change in an instant. So I tend to withdraw from people, because if I get too close, it'll hurt all the more when they inevitably leave. Or when I do. (I don't know where the abandonment complex came from. My parents are wonderful people.)

But when I read what God says to the exiles, I feel hope.


This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” Yes, this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the Lord.

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

You may say, “The Lord has raised up prophets for us in Babylon,” but this is what the Lord says about the king who sits on David’s throne and all the people who remain in this city, your fellow citizens who did not go with you into exile— yes, this is what the Lord Almighty says: “I will send the sword, famine and plague against them and I will make them like figs that are so bad they cannot be eaten. I will pursue them with the sword, famine and plague and will make them abhorrent to all the kingdoms of the earth, a curse and an object of horror, of scorn and reproach, among all the nations where I drive them. For they have not listened to my words,” declares the Lord, “words that I sent to them again and again by my servants the prophets. And you exiles have not listened either,” declares the Lord.

Therefore, hear the word of the Lord, all you exiles whom I have sent away from Jerusalem to Babylon. This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says about Ahab son of Kolaiah and Zedekiah son of Maaseiah, who are prophesying lies to you in my name: “I will deliver them into the hands of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, and he will put them to death before your very eyes. Because of them, all the exiles from Judah who are in Babylon will use this curse: ‘May the Lord treat you like Zedekiah and Ahab, whom the king of Babylon burned in the fire.’ For they have done outrageous things in Israel; they have committed adultery with their neighbors’ wives, and in my name they have uttered lies—which I did not authorize. I know it and am a witness to it,” declares the Lord.


Here are my favorite parts of this letter.

This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile... God knows where they are. He put them there. True, he did it to teach them a lesson. But he didn't leave them alone while they were learning it.

Increase in number there; do not decrease. Life sucks? Fine. But don't mope around whining about it getting weaker. Get better. How? Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. Duh.

Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. You've put your faith in a lot of different people and things. I have not sent them. So stop it.

I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. Your safe place is still there. So is God. He promised to come for you, and he keeps his promises.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you. Everyone always talks about God chasing after them. And God does go looking for people. But we also have to seek after him. And when we seek, we will find.

this is what the Lord says about the king who sits on David’s throne and all the people who remain in this city, your fellow citizens who did not go with you into exile - famine, sword, etc. You think you have it bad? That safe place you were complaining about leaving is about to get all kinds of bad. So learn how to live with what you have.

And then, you know, a bunch of stuff about how it could be worse. And the stories you'll tell in the future will be all about how bad the other guy had it.

So I guess I have to stop being annoyed by Jeremiah 29:11 people. I will, however, casually suggest that they read the entire chapter before harping on that one verse.

There's good stuff in this book, people.

Funding

Two and a half years ago, I told myself that as long as there were funds in my support account, I was where God wanted me to be.

I don't like support raising. I think it's important for missionaries because it puts them in a position of faith. But I'm not good at it. I don't know how to cultivate new donors. I don't know how to convince people that missionaries can serve in the United States. I don't like asking people for money.

Support raising is a reality of being a missionary.

And there are no funds in my account.

Heads Up!

Some people have received an invitation, but I'm never sure how things overlap.

I'm having a supporter event at OMS on October 14 from 3:30 to around 6ish.

It's a chance to learn more about OMS, my ministry and have some yummy dessert.

All are welcome. If you have questions, please contact me. If you are coming, please contact me.

That is all.

My, things are moving along rapidly! I'm down to about $200 a month that I still need. I spoke to the housing director at OMS this morning, and they have an apartment all set up and ready to go for me. I'm trying to figure out the logistics of moving and when all of that will take place. Meanwhile, I'm working quite a bit at Hallmark, and we just had our closing program for Kid's Time. We held a mini carnival for the kids, and they had a great time, though the adults were a slightly exhausted by the end of the evening. My parents are going on a trip starting Sunday, so I'll have the house to myself for a little while, which will be good practice for Greenwood. I just can't believe how quickly things are happening. A lot of the decisions I have to make are contingent upon things I don't know yet, like whether or not I need a new car. The one I have does okay on short trips, but anything longer than a couple hours makes it unhappy and uncooperative. Plus, I have to decide what to take when I move. I have about 400 books that will need a home. And I had no idea how much work it is to be an independent adult! I've also been working on some pre-training exercises for OMS. Oh, and my computer has been out of sorts lately. All of this to say...

God amply provides!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! To be honest, I was asleep for most of it. Those sunrise services take a lot out of you, you know?

You should have all received your letters by now. Furthermore, if you go to a UB Church, your pastor/mission director also received one. Since then, a few things have changed. I'm still moving to Greenwood at the end of June, but the training will now encompass the entire month of July, so that should be an interesting experience. Several people have sent in donations, so the total needed at this point is below $4000. My church has been incredibly amazing and generous in this process, both individuals and as a whole. I can't thank them enough for their support these past few months.

I'll be posting more regularly as time goes on, so be sure to check back in. Also, if you'd like to be put on a particular missionary's update list, let me know.

Enjoy the sunshine!

I've been on an internet fast.

Before you praise/chastise me, know this: it wasn't entirely by choice. The internet at the house was down, and I decided to see if it was possible to live without the world wide web. Surprisingly, it is, but I'm not going to tell you it was easy. I can't tell you how many times I went to Google something only to remember I couldn't.

Quite a bit has happened over the last month. As a result of a meeting with Global Ministries staff and two fellow missionaries in early November, I have created an Advocacy/Support/Friend group comprised of six people, each of whom has played a role along the journey to this point. They are all good at giving me their opinions and advice and ideas, and though we haven't really decided what this will mean in the long run, they are all incredibly supportive.

I spoke at two different churches this month. On November 8, I was at Victory Chapel in Liberty Center, OH and on November 15, I was at Stryker UB in Stryker, OH. It was nice to be back in my home state, and especially lovely to speak with several people I've known since I was much younger.

I am pleased to report that as a result of some very generous donations, I have reached 50% of my needed support. In July 2010, I will be able to attend CROSS-Training at OMS - three weeks of field prep and seminars. I'm praying that I will be ready to move into the compound at Greenwood soon after, and begin traveling.

I am excited to see what the next year brings. I pray that when the time comes, I am ready.

Shalom.