Monday, Monday

Many people dread Mondays. It's the start of the work week, the beginning of five days of crunching numbers, reading reports, going to meetings, etc. But at OMS, we like to set the tone for something a little different. Each department operates a little differently, but at 9 AM on Monday, you won't find us working. Nope! We're praying.

In ECC, we typically have a devotional from one of the gang, and then we have a time of prayer. We pray for personal things, work things, global things, and everything in between.

I love the message this sends. Yes, ministry is important, but prayer is at the heart of what we do. Our desire is to be in the center of God's will, and when we talk to Him, we find ourselves where we need to be.



It's gonna be a quiet week, but only in that a lot of our people are traveling. There is no shortage of work to be done!

Saturation Point

How important is it to stay relevant?

I'm not talking about churches. Or not just about churches. I'm talking about you, as an individual. How important is it to you to stay relevant, informed, current on every hashtag, trending topic, twitpic, RSS feed, Reddit, movie, show, fashion trend, tech gadget, super food, medical procedure, band, hair style, bestseller, religion, cause, etc.?

The truth is - I'm exhausted.

I used to be up on all the latest stuff. Once I got out of my bubble and figured out that there was a whole world I hadn't yet explored, I went a little crazy. I latched on to books, movies, television, and the internet as my teachers, sponging up all that they had to teach me. I knew who the best actors were, the respectable indie artists, the wannabes, the political referendas - if it was happening, I knew about it.

And then the internet really took off. And suddenly everyone had to know everyone else's business. In my mind, Twitter was the worst culprit, at least at first. You could instantly tell everyone the most inane things that popped into your head. But God forbid you say anything bad or meaningful or get on the wrong side of the mob. The court of public opinion is ruthless. They can elevate a mildly attractive Target employee to object of worship in fifteen minutes. They can heap so many death threats on you that you have to go into protective custody.

Read this.

I'm at a loss for what to call this phenomenon. It's people wanting to be part of the next big thing. But it's also people wanting to take down the other guy before he takes you down.

And it's everywhere. There is no way I can keep up with all of the information out there now. But I keep being told that I have to. What use am I to society if I don't know all about the latest celebrity romances, the newest cause? I have to weigh in on feminism, gun legislation, the environment, homosexuality - but I have to be on the right side, as defined by the media. And I'm not even a public figure. I don't work for a high profile organization, I don't have fans, I don't even have more than 10 readers of this blog.

I can't do it anymore. I can't keep consuming. I can't keep contributing to the noise. Partly, I'm terrified of someone taking something I say and twisting it to their advantage, dropping me down the rabbit hole in the process. But I'm also just tired. There are all these shows that I 'have to watch' or music that 'redefines the genre.' It never stops.

But I also can't not speak. If I stop speaking for Truth, if the Church withdraws, if honest people stop trying to shout over the din, then who will be left to lead people out of darkness? And I can't stop consuming. Life would get a bit dull. There are good things out there.

How do we achieve a balance? How do we remain in the world and consume what it has to offer without being dragged down by it? How do we remain separate and shun evil without becoming unable to talk to or relate to those we are called to bear witness to?

Does everyone inevitably come to this conclusion?

I don't know what the point of this post is. It kinda went everywhere. I think maybe I've just reached my saturation point.

It's the Little Things

Have you heard the news? Bad things come in twos. But I never knew 'bout the little things. Every single day, things get in my way. Someone has to pay for the little things.
--excerpt from "The Little Things" by Danny Elfman

Ignore for a moment that this song was written about revenge. The words by themselves are actually pretty accurate. Bad things do seem to come in pairs (or triads), and you're somewhat prepared for those, or at least the possibility of them. But no one ever talks about the little things that go along with being an adult - all those tiny things that you have to keep track of or they grow to be huge issues that throw you off. And then someone has to pay the piper.

I had one of those this week.

I typically keep my car in the garage in the winter. I don't use it as much, but when I do need it, I don't want to deal with the ice and unpleasantness that colder temperatures bring. And the garage is pretty dark. And when I do leave, I'm pretty much looking behind me to make sure I don't run over anything. So I don't really look at the garage floor to see if the car is leaking anything important. Oil, for example.

It wasn't until I was parked overnight in the drive of the house where I'm cat-sitting (Bonnie is adorable, by the way) that the neighbor (who happens to work at OMS) called me up and said, "There's something leaking from your car. You should get it checked out."

And, sure enough, both oil and water had been leaking from my car. So I take it to the garage, and there I am informed that I need a new oil gasket and water pump.

Not what I was expecting. Not what I needed. Just another little thing that turned into me spending $$$ I don't have.

Now, it's unhealthy to dwell on Little Things. Dwelling leads to the dark places, and I have enough pathways to those already without creating new ones. So, I try to find the good parts of the little things. For example:

• The problem was noticed and corrected before it damaged the engine.
• I was not without transportation for a significant period of time.
• My tax refund will cover the cost of the repairs.
• The world has not ended.

So no matter how irksome the little things get, it's important to remember that they do not need to define our attitude or actions. 

But they are still annoying. 

I'll Be Brief

Our monthly staff briefing was this morning. I always enjoy hearing what other departments are doing, and sometimes I even learn new things about what my own department is doing!

Of course, sometimes we hear things we'd rather not. Two things:

1. The PPACA is rolling out this year in full force. With it comes quite a few changes, many of which we don't even know the effects of yet. But from what I've heard thus far, it's incredibly invasive and time consuming. Yay.

2. Persecution against Christians is increasing in wide measure around the world. Many of our partners are reporting higher levels of persecution, many in highly systematic and targeted actions. We expect it because Jesus told us to, and we expect it in certain places more than others. But we're seeing it now on a much wider scale, and in places that we might have previously considered 'safe.' More and more, I'm convinced that we're on the edge of something, and it's going to hit much closer to home than people expect.

But it is not all bad news.

There's a country that has been a security risk for us in the past that is seeing some amazing opportunities and openness. Another country that has been both a security risk and limited access has given us some hope for ministry possibilities.

You should check out the OMS YouTube page for videos from our fields. There are some really great stories and prayer requests.

There is a CROSS-training group completing their last week on Friday. They will then be commissioned to their various fields. That is always an awesome thing to see!

If you know anyone interested in missions, or if you yourself have been thinking you could do more, join us at OneWeekend March 13-15! This is a good primer on the Great Commission, and it offers a chance to explore the possibilities of service around you.

Okay, go do good things. I have booklets to proof.

Life and Times

So the Super Bowl was last night.

I didn't watch.

I don't feel like I lost out on anything by not watching, either.

What else is going on?

I'm filling in on a handbell choir. I played in college, enjoyed it, and have missed playing since then. It's nice to be back, however temporary it is.

I've been to a couple of hockey games this season. Indy got a new ECHL team, the Indy Fuel. They are decent for their league so far, though they play against my home team, the Fort Wayne Komets. I have divided loyalties. But I really like hockey, so that has been a welcome addition.

Oh! I have a temporary cat. Well, I'm catsitting. Miss Bonnie is adorably fluffy, and we have great fun together.

Work is going well. I'm diving more into social media, which can be a vast quagmire of information. It's amazing to see how much is available.

Okay, it's not the most scintillating of posts. Oh well.

There's nothing I love more than redoing a job.

Hah.

Actually, I don't redo a lot of my own jobs. But I may redo other people's jobs.

Because I may be a little OCD.

This is news to you, I'm sure.

Anyway, that's why Train & Multiply is a good fit for me. We check, and recheck, and check again.

Makes my heart happy.

All the single ladies! (All the single ladies!)

Let's talk about single missionaries.

There are a lot of us. 13% of the missionaries serving with the Southern Baptist Mission Board are single. 21% serving with Pioneers are single. I have no idea what the statistics are for OMS, but I'd imagine the numbers are similar or even slightly higher. Four of the 12ish in my department are single.

And 85% of single missionaries are women.

Here are some headlines a quick Google search on this topic will bring you:

Two thirds of active missionaries are married couples. Another third are single women. The rest are single men.

Matchmaker for Missionaries Tackles a Top Reason They Quit

All the Single Ladies

"Should I, as a single person, go overseas now, or should I first find a mate?"

Should I give up my missionary work to try to find a husband?

Yeah, it's a big deal. A lot of people are talking about it. (I laughed at the third one. I was confused about the second and what it modified.)

But are they talking about the right thing? There is this pervasive idea that all single, female missionaries are just biding their time until they hit 40 or find a husband. 

It's disgusting. 

In many ways, whether purposely or not, single missionaries are treated as second class citizens by the marrieds. This is especially true if you're a single female. 

To be fair, I don't think they realize they are doing it most of the time. But there is still that old-school mentality that women are fragile, and without men to guide them, they are lost. Thus, many decisions are made for us without first inquiring as to what we would prefer.

Overall, OMS has been decent about single missionaries. Many of the marrieds are very gracious to us and invite us to join their families for holidays and activities. Lori McFall is kinda like a second mom, only more like an older sister, and I feel like an honorary McFall. 

But for as awesome as Lori's family is, I'm still not really a McFall. There are times I feel like I'm intruding, mostly because that's my personality. (Lori, I think you already know most of this, so I feel safe using you as an example.)

I know other couples who have taken in single missionaries like this. But instead of treating them as equals, the single missionaries almost become like another child. And some missionaries might not mind this. But many of us already have one set of parents, and what we need are friends, not minders.

It's worse for single missionaries not serving in the States. In many places, they might be the only missionary in the area. True, most agencies try to avoid this if possible, but it doesn't always work out. And even if you get paired up with another single gal, there is no guarantee that you'll be compatible roommates. Let's face it, some people just don't have much in common. Even here on campus, where there are an abundance of single missionaries, there are only 1-2 that I hang out with regularly. For one reason or another, I just don't connect with the others. I mentioned in previous posts that certain people had moved. Beka, Emily, and Elida were my single friends that I did pretty much everything with. We have similar interests, similar personalities, and so we hung out. And then, as happens, Beka moved to the Philippines, Emily moved to California, and Elida moved to Haiti, all to serve in their respective ministries. That added to an already devastating year. 

And that happens more often with single missionaries. They are the ones asked to move because it's easier than asking marrieds with kids to uproot everything. I understand why this happens. There are valid reasons for it. But it takes a toll. 

Furthermore, singles have to be much more careful about how they interact with people in the field. At OMS, we have a rule that single missionaries are not allowed to date for the first two years of their assignment. I don't know how strictly it is enforced, but it does exist. So if you want to do something, you need to find a large group or some marrieds with free time. Because they have so much of it. We have to be careful about how we interact with our national coworkers, how we interact with our married coworkers. 

Again, there are valid reasons for this. I have a friend who uses this as her excuse for turning down marriage proposals from nationals. (Not sure what she'll do after the two years are up.) And appearances are important, especially when you're trying to be the light of Jesus. But it still takes a toll.

And at the end of the day, who do singles talk to? It's a bit better in this technological age. We can Skype, email, and social media to our heart's content. But there is no substitute for having a physical person who can listen to you vent and give you a hug. Marrieds have a built-in pressure valve. Singles have to be careful about who they tell things to. 

And all too often, it's the single missionaries who are left to fend for themselves. We have a singles dinner every month at OMS. It's not subsidized by the mission or promoted. A couple of single gals got together and decided the single folks needed an outlet. It's nice. But my first time there, someone tried to set me up with the only single male missionary on campus. It's coming from all sides!

I'm not throwing shade at married missionaries. They have problems of their own that we don't have to deal with. But they aren't better than us because they have a spouse. I usually point to 1 Corinthians 7 when I get into the 'why aren't you married' discussion. Particularly verses 8 and 9. "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Nothing shuts them up faster than realizing they were the weak ones for being unable to control themselves.

I guess my purpose in writing this is to get people to realize that SINGLE MISSIONARIES EXIST. We have opinions. We have a calling. We have needs. Don't make policies that exclude a significant portion of your staff!

I think that's everything. You'll know if it's not.