Sanctuary

Some things have been happening here. Personal things, but the kind that affect work things. Things I can't really talk about. I'm okay physically, but my emotional and spiritual states have taken a beating. I was able to go home last weekend, and I'm going to Conference next week, and I think time away helps. But it also feels a little bit like running away. 

I like labels. This may seem like an odd segue, but it applies. If something has a label, it has an identity. I can define it and begin to understand it. 

I can't label this thing. Sure, there are labels that seem to apply, but only superficially and only for a time. I don't understand this thing. I don't want to be one of those people who ignores a thing because they don't understand it. That's ignorant. But at the same time, the emotional effort it would take to understand this thing makes me want to run even faster in the other direction. 

I usually find a lot of comfort in the Psalms. The writers are human, and they are totally on board with expressing their very human emotions, sometimes in extremely passionate ways. And they are pretty great at describing God, even in their limited ways. 

My comfort these last few weeks has come from Psalm 18:30. 

"As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him."

God understands the thing. He's known it was coming for always. He knows how it will turn out. And he's providing sanctuary for those who desperately need it. 

They're Running Out of Time

A few weeks ago, someone referenced a quote by Penn Jillette, a well-known atheist. I've said it before, I'll accept Truth from whoever says it. It has stuck with me, and it has added to the theme that seems to be developing in my life right now. I hunted down the exact quote because I think he captures the real urgency that believers should be feeling. 

“I’ve always said that I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize. I don’t respect that at all. If you believe that there’s a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life, and you think that it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward—and atheists who think people shouldn’t proselytize and who say just leave me along and keep your religion to yourself—how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

“I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you. And this is more important than that.”

How much do you have to hate someone to not tell them the Truth? How selfish are you to keep the greatest thing man will ever experience a secret? I mean, we're talking basic stuff here, people. This is Great Commission stuff. "Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'" Jesus didn't say, 'I understand, it's hard to tell people about me. You're fine. Stay home. People will figure it out. Or not. Hell? Psshh. It's okay if a few people are left out.' 

No. Jesus told us to go, outside of our comfortable homes and lives, and talk to people. Tell them about Jesus, tell them what He has done for them. Tell them how to be like Jesus so that they can spend eternity with Him. Whatever awkwardness or fear you feel doesn't matter. Because Jesus is with you. 

We're not doing enough. I see the statistics every day, I watch the news, I hear the stories. Our world believes it doesn't need Jesus. God? He was a nice crutch for a while, but we're doing just fine without him. And Christians? We're letting people believe that. We're saying, "Fine. You believe what you want to believe. Just leave me alone in my church." We're shutting the door in their face. We're telling people that, because they aren't perfect, they don't belong with us. They have to change before we initiate them into our secret club. 

But it's not a secret! There were entire church councils addressing this issue of needing secret knowledge. There's no secret here! We should be telling everyone what we know! And if they were perfect already, what need have they of the church? (Newsflash: It's in people's nature to sin. Christians are counter-culture. I know! Crazy, isn't it?)

So this morning, I listened to Bob Fetherlin give a vision for the next ten years at OMS. Ten years. It's hard for me to imagine. I have to confess, I don't really want to be here in ten years. I'm afraid of what the world will look like then. I am desperately waiting for Christ's return. This world is extremely hard to live in. 

But I had to pause this morning, because let's really think about that. Let's realize just how selfish that actually is. If Christ were to return today, how many people would be left to eternal damnation? How many family members that we just sort of assumed would see our example and suddenly realize their need for Jesus? How many friends that we politely agree to disagree with? How many strangers who needed just a little bit of hope and we brushed them off because we were busy?

Christians are becoming turtles. We retreat into our shells when trouble comes, only peeking out to shake our heads at the evil world. We're sitting here quietly, praying for Jesus to come quickly so we don't have to deal with being uncomfortable when people challenge our faith. How selfish is that?

God, please give us more time. Give us more opportunities to share you with more people, and give us the urgency of spirit to realize we don't have forever. 

God is not willing that anyone should perish. And I'm not naive enough to believe that everyone we speak to will respond positively. It's a choice. And some people choose poorly. But if we're just not going to bother telling them at all, then why should Jesus even come back for us?

(He will, because he's awesome like that and told us he would and there are people who are doing everything they can to make sure everyone knows the Truth of Jesus Christ.)

Someone once asked me why I became a missionary when there are plenty of people in my own country who need Jesus. I have a new way to answer that now. Ian Bongers, director of OMS Australia, laid it out for us last week. Statistically speaking, one in four Americans is an evangelical Christian. (What do I mean by evangelical Christian? Someone who believes that belief in Jesus Christ is the only path to salvation, and shares that saving knowledge with others.) This is according to the Joshua Project. So, if every single person who identifies as an evangelical Christian found three people who didn't and told them about Jesus, everyone in the United States would have heard the Gospel and had an opportunity to respond. 

Three people. That's not exactly hard. Or at least it shouldn't be. 

But let's look at Japan. Statistically, one in 168 people in Japan is an evangelical Christian. That one person has to have that conversation with 167 people. 

He could use some help.

So by all means, you talk to your three people in your own backyard. But when you're done, maybe consider taking what you know to the rest of the world? 

Because how selfish would you have to be not to?

Frozen Live Blog

So. I've never seen Frozen. I know. But I'm rectifying that today. And I thought I'd share that experience with you. Here goes.

Is this movie about black people? Native Americans? Native Icelanders? I don't understand this music. I love it. But where exactly is this set?

Isn't cutting ice like that dangerous?

Adorable baby reindeer!

That escalated quickly.

I don't understand. She had really good control before.

There are TROLLS IN THIS MOVIE?!

I am once again lacking in understanding. This is the King and Queen, right? But they can just lock themselves away, disappear a daughter, and no one asks questions?

Also, fear is her enemy, but we're so afraid of her that we lock her away? That helps.

Did these siblings just not see each other for like ten years?

This will not end well.

Called it!

Who has been ruling this country for three years?

Finally! Someone who doesn't have perfect hair in the morning!

So, like, she only knows how the world works because of paintings? Thank God impressionists aren't around yet. Or Picasso.

This guy parts his hair on the left. He's evil, right?

Oops.

Okay, this guy is hilarious. I know I will hate him later, but right now? Hilarious.

12 older brothers? Yeah, I know how this works. He only wants your title and money, honey, don't do it!

You have known this guy less than a day. What is wrong with you?

This is a very modern song and dance for this era.

What is the geography of this place?

Seriously. Less than a day.

Preach it, Elsa.

Again, this will end badly.

That's right, buddy. Hide behind your boy toy, I mean bodyguard.

Uh. Don't say that. He's bad. You literally just met him!

Really? The big song is this early in the movie?

All I hear is Idina Menzel. And she is not blonde.

Seriously, what has inspired this entire turnaround? I'm so confused.

How about hunger? Does hunger bother you?

Yeah, this guy has been in the wilderness too long.

Stranger Danger! I like this guy.

Sven, you sound weird. You should get that checked out.

Aaaaand it's a talking snowman.

What. Is. This. Movie.

So he's at least taking care of the kingdom. That's good.

Just tell her why!

Eternal winter? It's been like a day. Maybe two.

Is Sven licking the stairs? That's awesome.

Would this be the abominable snowman? I feel like Sully and Mike should be appearing any moment.

Nice with the rocks.

Why are the trolls not more popular? These guys are awesome.

Wait, Hans saves the day?

Oh yeah, that makes more sense.

I'm right there with ya, Sven.

Called it! Calleditcalleditcalledit.

Bastard.

"Talk" to him, Sven.

That is a great definition of love!

YES! Sock him in the face!

That was cute. I'm not sure I get the hype. But it was cute. I'm still really confused by a lot of things. And I will be humming this song for the next few days.

(There's a post-credits scene! So cute!)

Climb Which Mountain?

It's funny.

When I was much younger and the time came around again to watch The Sound of Music (as it inevitably did like clockwork once we added that movie to our library of five movies), I would always fast-forward through "Climb Ev'ry Mountain."

You know the song. It's the one Reverend Mother sings to convince Maria to face her problems. And also to tell her that it's okay for not-yet-a-nun types to fall in love with naval-captain types after that's-what-boarding-schools-are-for types scare them away.

I'm getting off track.

Anyway, I wasn't a fan of the scene. The old nun was, well, old; the singing was, to my uncivilized ears, painful; it was dark, shadowy (now a unique and interesting cinematographic choice); it was a little boring; and I didn't understand the purpose of the lyrics.

I like the song a little better now. It's definitely something that appeals to an older crowd. We've all had a dream that we had to give up and perhaps regret not pursuing.

Climb ev'ry mountain
Search high and low
Follow ev'ry by-way
Every path you know

Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/soundtracks/s/thesoundofmusiclyrics/climbevrymountainlyrics.html

As I think about it more and more, though, I can't make up my mind how I feel. This entire movie makes a lot of the common Hollywood suppositions that I really don't agree with: karma, all you need is love, they even take a shot at Creation.

I know, it's a movie, a musical at that, I'm not supposed to look that deeply into it. But I can't help it. So let's dive in.

The point of the lyrics is that when you want something, you have to work at it. You have to give it 100% devotion and attention. And it's not always easy to achieve your dream. You don't always know what it will be. But when you discover it, sometimes after a long time of agonizing searches, you have to honor the effort it took to find your dream by working to achieve it with everything you have.

On the surface, I agree with this. I've heard that it takes something like 10,000 hours of working at something to be considered an expert. I like to use Olympians as an example. You don't win a gold medal by practicing sometimes and thinking about it. They work hard. Have you ever looked up Michael Phelps' practice schedule? He put his body through hell so he could come away with a bajillion gold medals. So yes, you do have to work to achieve whatever dream you happen to pursue.

But I want to look at the context of this song. The Mother Abbess, a woman who has spent her life devoted to God, is telling a young novitiate to follow her dream. Here's where I'm confused. Genuinely. What is Maria's dream? To marry the Captain? She knows at this point that it's impossible. They both do. So why get her hopes up?

Yes, we know how the story ends. Georg really loved Maria, not Elsa. But this is not at all the advice a nun gives a young girl in the 30s! I could understand it if the Reverend Mother is telling her to search for God's plan for her life, since it apparently wasn't becoming a nun. Although, I'm not sure why. Sure, Maria was a bit boisterous, but that's not necessarily a bad thing in a nun. The Catholic Church used to have a Vatican Women's Rifle Team. That's a bit more out there than singing in the abbey. And I've met nuns who were also agents for the FBI. But whatever, Maria doesn't want to be a nun, fine. The Reverend Mother can use this song, despite lacking in any mention of faith, God, God's will, etc., to show Maria that there are other paths God might take her down.

But no. She tells her to pursue her dream of possibly breaking up a man's potential marriage.

I think I'm coming down on the side of not liking this song again.

It's amazing how insidious these little ideas of forgetting God and following the world can be. And they are everywhere.

What are your thoughts?

Threshold

"You would not have called to me unless I had been calling to you," said the lion. 

~ C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

The Silver Chair is not my favorite of the Chronicles of Narnia. In fact, the first time I read it, I came close to hating it. It felt like a very different book from what I had read previously. I loved the Pevensies, and they were nowhere to be found except in passing. I had a hard time following the plot and figuring out where the three heroes were, especially when they are Underland. Puddleglum was odd, Eustace was a bit useless, and Jill had an appalling memory. And then when they found Rillian, everything got a bit weird. My initial skepticism of this particular chronicle was not helped in the slightest by the BBC film. I'm hoping the new one will be a vast improvement.

Contrast this with my feelings on The Horse and His Boy. I can make a very good case for this being my favorite of the series, despite it falling under many of the same categories as The Silver Chair. It still feels like a very different book, because you start in Calormen and take forever to actually reach Narnia. The Pevensies are there, but in the height of their reign. The heroes are a boy with questionable judgment, a Calormene girl, and horses. If anything, this book should be last on my list. After all, C.S. Lewis basically wrote fan fiction about his own universe. (Actually, maybe that's why I like it so much. I love exploring the construct of a universe. Anyway.)

As with many things, however, I have grown to appreciate The Silver Chair more as I have grown. 

That's not what this post is about.

This post is about that quote up there, the one at the beginning. Narnia is, of course, largely allegorical, with Aslan (the lion) standing in for Jesus Christ. (Lewis, interestingly, denied that his stories were allegorical in nature, instead referring to them as 'supposals.' Suppose a world such as Narnia existed, where animals can talk and nature is much more important. How would God redeem such a world?) The Emperor Over the Sea is God the Father, who has a very hands-off role in the Chronicles, and the role of the Holy Spirit is usually filled by Aslan. 

Now, it's entirely possible to read too much into the parallels of faith between this world and Narnia. There are a few things I would be hesitant to embrace should they be taken to their natural conclusions, chief of which (for me) is the role of the young Calormene soldier in The Last Battle who faithfully serves the false god Tash but still ends up in True Narnia. There is a disturbing spirit of universalism in this passage, whether Lewis intended it that way or not. 

I'm getting off track again. 

I want to analyze just this one line, keeping in mind that it may not translate to Christianity at all.

But I'm pretty sure it does.

I want to start with the ways it bothers me, just because I think I'll end up on the other side of this fence.

I think part of my issue is related to why I loathe the silent drama that churches like to put on to "Everything" by Lifehouse. You know the one.  Partly, it's because I don't like the whole mime thing. It creeps me out. Also, it's too long. But mostly, it's because they always portray it as the young girl straining and straining to get to Jesus, and Jesus takes too darn long to bust some heads and get to her. I understand the whole get-distracted-by-the-world thing and the turning-your-eyes-from-Jesus thing. But in the depths of my despair, when I cry out earnestly for God to rescue me, unless I'm in Hell, Jesus is going to answer me, and not with a 'yeah, this song is really long so give me two more minutes.'

So I'm bothered by the implication that we aren't crying out for God on our own.

But that's where my old nature and lack of understanding come in. Because this is really a moot point. It's not even a chicken and egg situation. Before everything, God. Did he want the Fall to happen? No. Did he know it would? Yes, so he planned accordingly. Could he have prevented it? Undoubtedly. But only by creating beings without free will, and what's the point of creating something that can't think for itself?

Ooo, my Arminian side is showing. Don't worry, Calvin is lurking right around the corner. But not Hyper Calvin. That guy's crazy. (And let's not get on the subject of angels. For now.)

So, God knew we were going to choose evil. It's what we do. And he knew it would separate us from him. So he built in a way to draw us back to himself. Because his desire from the beginning was fellowship with us.

From the beginning, he was calling to us. Peter (the apostle, not the king) said it best. He tells us that God doesn't want anyone to perish, but for all to desire and pursue a relationship with God.

The interesting thing in The Silver Chair is that Aslan does not rescue Eustace and Jill right away when they start calling to him. They first have to make their way to the door in the garden. And here's where the parallels could get incredibly deep and technical, but I see it very simply.

A lot of people call on God. There's a reason "no atheists in foxholes" is a saying you often hear. God doesn't want anyone to perish, and calling on God is important, yes. But just believing in a vague notion of a supreme being and asking for its help when you're in a jam isn't enough. When we call on God, he shows us how to get to him, and it's not always easy, but it is very clear. There is one path, one door - and until we take the steps of repentance and faith, we won't be in fellowship with God.

I feel like I'm dancing around a point here, and I may have lost the plot a bit. Let's go back to what bothered me. I was bothered by the implication that man doesn't cry out for God on our own.

But the truth is, we don't. If there weren't evidence of God in this world, what would we appeal to? Would we appeal to nature? That quickly reveals itself to be fickle and unreliable. Would we appeal to man? I've seen a lot of people appealing to the better nature of man, and guess what? That, too, fails. We have nothing good in this world except what comes from God.

The only thing we can appeal to that will never change, that is True and Just and on whom we can rely, is God. And we can appeal to him because he so desperately wants us that he's been revealing himself to us for all of time.

We just have to answer his call. 

December in Colorado

Uh, so, last December I went to Colorado with my sister, nephew, and parents to see my other sister, other nephews, and brother-in-law. I'm just now posting these photos. Go me. 

This is the view from right down Julie's street. Not a bad way to wake up in the morning. 

The grandparents and grandkids. Caleb and Zane loved having Jeremy there, and I think Jeremy enjoyed having a couple of shadows. 

The sisters. It's obvious to me that we're related. Anyone else?

Jeremy and Jennifer

 

We went up to Estes Park and got some amazing photos of the mountains.

Elk. Multiple elk. Elks?

There's a little place called Georgetown that we love to go to. It's a very quaint mining village, and I took this just for Foster. 

These birds remind me of the little sandpipers at the beach. I forget what they're called, but I love the blue!

It still amazes me that people crossed these mountains, without roads, for years. 

We also went to the Wings Over the Rockies Air & Space Museum. They have an X-wing! It's something like 3/5 actual size, one of five created for the release of the remaster, I think. It's signed by most of the cast. I spent a lot of time with this Incom T-65. 

The X-wing series by Michael A. Stackpole and Aaron Allston is one of my absolute favorites of the Extended Universe collection. Part of the reason I made it all the way through the Yuuzhan Vong debacle is because of my love for Corran Horn. And I know you have no idea what I'm talking about, but if by some miracle you do, we need to be best friends. kk?

Six of one, half dozen of the other

Yikes, it's been a while.

I don't know why I'm telling you that, you clearly already know.

But I didn't realize just how long it had been. So bear with me.

Things have steadily been getting crazier around OMS. These are the "people months." It seems like a constant, steady flow of visitors, missionaries on home assignment, interns, orientees, trainees, Board members, and all manner of folk come through here during the summer.

The biggest news, though, is that we finished Level 1 of Train & Multiply! This is a huge deal - we've been working on these materials for quite a while now, since long before I joined the team, actually. All that work has paid off, though. The booklets look fantabulous!

I can't say I had much to do with the drawings, other than approving and suggesting some tweaks. But I can proudly state that these books are grammatical perfection. Or the closest we can come to it. I've poured a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into these pages. So we had to throw those out and print new copies. :) Can you tell I've gone a little loopy?

So now that Level 1 is done, we can relax, right?

Ha.

Haha.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ahem.

Now we get to work on Level 2. And I learn the InDesign portion of this project. And we figure out the training process. And we have to announce this bad boy. And a few hundred other things.

But I'm celebrating this achievement. Because it's huge. And it's sad to go from project to project without celebrating the accomplishments, big or little.

In other news, I organized an OMS garage sale that took place last Saturday. It was a success, in my opinion, and helped with some discretionary funds as my salary has once again been decreased. I would just like to point out again that we don't do this for the money. I am learning a lot about what I can live without.

Finally, one of the main reasons I haven't been writing much here is that I've been feeling quite a bit of disconnect. It's getting better, but for a while, the distance between me and the world was growing steadily. Depression rears its ugly head once again. But like I said, we're moving on.

Further up and further in!