Expecting the Unexpected

When we send missionaries around the world, there are certain things we expect to happen.

We expect them to share the Gospel. We expect them to teach English or give out tracts or teach school. We expect them to plant churches and raise their families and have good relationships with other mission agencies. Occasionally, we expect them to deal with resistance from the government or neighbors or fringe groups.

We do not expect them to suddenly be in the middle of a war.

We do not expect them to suddenly have thousands of refugees on their doorstep.

We do not expect them to suddenly evacuate because of a giant tsunami.

These are all things that could happen anywhere. And in the back of our minds, we sort of understand that. And we maybe have 12% of a plan if something did happen. (Unless it's zombies. Our plan then is to find the nearest teenager and follow their very detailed plan.)

But it's different when you're not home. At home, you have a support system, you have friends and family, you understand the context and the history and the culture.

As a field missionary, you very deliberately do not have these things.

So it might be understandable that, when faced with things we don't expect, we may hesitate or panic because there is no plan.

Except, consistently, missionaries don't do that.

For the last year and more, our missionaries in Ukraine have been in a war zone. They have concerns, but even when it looked like we might need to bring them home, they asked to stay. Because people still need Jesus.

Monday, we Skyped a missionary who was literally in the field at a refugee camp in Hungary. They had very few resources to deal with thousands of refugees. They will see these people for maybe ten minutes or an hour. They do not speak their language. But they are giving them everything they have. Because these people need Jesus.

Back in 2011, a tsunami swept across the coast of Japan. Most of our missionaries were on a retreat in the mountains. But almost immediately, they started taking supplies to those who were left. Years later, when a lot of organizations have pulled out, our missionaries are still serving. Because people still need Jesus.

Nowhere in any of these missionaries' job descriptions does it say anything about war, refugees, or floods. But they never hesitate. If they panic, they hide it pretty well. They just do what Christians anywhere should do.

They be the hands and feet of Jesus.

How awesome is that?

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be hard. It's hard every year.

For the most part, I'll be avoiding social media, the news, anything that might acknowledge the significance of the day.

It's not that I don't want to be reminded. Although it still feels like a punch in the chest when I am.

It's that I don't want to be desensitized. I don't want the day to become less than what it is.

So if I'm quieter than normal, you'll know why. I'm thinking about a day that changed everything. I'm thinking about people who started the day expecting normal, and ended the day before the sun ever set, some having no idea what had happened, and some who knew without a doubt that they would never see their children, parents, siblings, spouse, loved ones again. I'm thinking about the people who did what they've always done - answered the call, served and protected, gave their all.

And I'm holding my breath. Because anniversaries tend to spawn all kinds of things. 

Still a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

All right, so yesterday was self-indulgent and stupid. I let things get the better of me. It'll happen again, but I'll try not to be so melodramatic about it.

Let's talk about something important.

The world has gone mad.

In the States, we're two steps away from electing a bombast (fill in the blank with your least favorite candidate). Cops and civilians alike are getting killed for no other reason than that they are cops and civilians. 30,000 people are battling wildfires that have killed dozens more. And the trending topic is a feud between Nickel Menace and Wiley Coyote. Or something like that.

In Europe, four million people have fled Syria because the Islamic State doesn't care who it kills as long as there's some kind of murder with breakfast. Millions more have fled other countries for similar reasons. These refugees are drowning or being packed into railway stations or beaten at borders because most of Europe really doesn't want them. And the trending topic is a misting shower designed to keep people cool.

In Asia, at least two countries have passed strict anti-conversion laws. Bombs are going off in major cities. North Korea is puffing its feathers again, and China has decided they want a bigger slice of the pie. Their trending topic is flipping Mel Gibson.

And Latin America? Well, the Guatemalan president has resigned. Ecuador is rounding up religious leaders and putting them in prison. Increased hurricane activity is taxing resources more than ever. Increased violence just about everywhere. And the top video on the BBC Latin America page is about making tacos al pastor in Mexico City.

I could go on. And yes, obviously some people are paying attention and trying to do something.

But even more are burying their heads in the sand.

Every time I watch the news, I think, Surely, this will be it. People can't possibly ignore this. This will be what finally makes them wake up.

Unfortunately, the thing that ends up waking these people up? Will probably be the thing that kills them two seconds later.

Sorry. This was supposed to be more uplifting. So here we go.

THERE IS HOPE!

This is what a world looks like without Jesus. Now imagine a world that knows and loves and follows Jesus.

You know what to do. 

Sometimes...

I'm going to tell you a secret. 

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I don't feel very missionary-y. Sometimes I don't even feel very Christian. 

Sometimes, I'm really annoyed with people. Sometimes, I want to slap people across the face and ask them how they can be so dense. Sometimes, I don't want to give people a chance to hear about Jesus because they have been so utterly stupid and hurtful and deliberately in contradiction with Truth. 

Sometimes, the people I'm annoyed with are fellow Christians. Sometimes they seem so completely disconnected from reality. Sometimes I wonder how we could possibly be serving the same God. 

Sometimes, I'm annoyed with myself. Sometimes I get so annoyed that, for every step forward, I sometimes take two steps backward in my faith. Sometimes I feel so angry with myself because I know how sad I'm making God.

Today is all those times.

Whaddaya know? I'm human.

(I'm reminded of Galatians 6:9. I'm not giving up! I'm just hanging on by fingertips.)

Winning and Losing

You know those giveaways that we sometimes enter, knowing deep down that we will probably not win, but honestly hoping that this time this time it will be your name they call?

Yeah, I'm falling prey to about six of those right now.

It's really annoying.

There's a scene in Chariots of Fire between Harold Abrahams and Sybil Gordon. She's comforting/chastising him after he loses a race and freaks out. Harold says, "If I can't win, I won't run." And Sybil immediately responds with "If you don't run, you can't win."

I loved that scene. Still do, really. And to a certain extent, it's true.

But it also sets a dangerous precedent.

This is how people get caught up in gambling. They know the odds (and they are astronomical), but as long as there is the slimmest chance of winning, they believe it could happen.

Now, I'm not saying that entering a drawing or signing up for a giveaway is akin to gambling (though I'm still not sold on raffles).

But they still put you on the path of depending on luck instead of buckling down and working to improve your own lot.

And they are hard to resist.

For example, Dave Ramsey sent me an email recently with the subject line of "Not opening this email could cost you $5,000."

How do you not open that email and give them your name?

Look, I would love to win one of these. I'm in desperate need of extra funds.

But if I do win, what does that do to me? Do I start relying on luck to get me out of a jam instead of learning from and paying for past mistakes?

I don't know.

And if I continue not winning, what does that do to me? Is there such a thing as too much false hope? Does the constant cycle of rising hope and crushed dreams have a horrible psychological effect?

I don't know.

But I do know that I can't live like something or someone is going to bail me out. (Not even the government.) Sure, extra money would be welcome. But I shouldn't be sunk if I don't get it.

I would still really, really like to win one of these giveaways, though. 

Spiritual warfare isn't always an obvious attack.

And it's not always an ambush.

Sometimes, it's an insidious, subtle worm of fear and doubt that creeps in to steal your joy and peace and contentment.

Sometimes, it's a heavy mist that obscures all bright visions of the future.

Sometimes, it's an oppression of the spirit, a weight on your chest.

A mouth sewn shut.

Blahgust

Is there such a thing as the August blahs?

(That was a clever title, wasn't it?)

Your only accepted response here is to say yes.

Obviously the August blahs exist because I have them.

July was exciting. July was high risk. July was high reward. July was busy.

But August. August is desperation. The need to get in that last hurrah. August is the other side of the hump, and instead of seeing Friday, you're seeing Winter.

And you're not ready.

I'm feeling that disconnect again. It comes and goes. It's when it sticks around that it's a problem.

Normally, I'd have something to distract me. But August is just...

Blahgust.